dead . letters . home

Based on the Dead Letters Home challenge: take a character, kill him/her and let him write one last letter. S/he's died, and this is all that remains.

by Liz Barr
April 2001
Buffy/Faith
rated PG-13

Hey, B.

I'm not really into writing and crap, but hey, we've got unfinished business. And if you're reading this, I guess it's gonna stay unfinished. That's assuming that the Wicca-Babes don't have a resurrection spell, or that I didn't get bit (if ya know what I mean), but I wouldn't be caught dead sucking a vamp (sorry) and I doubt Red and whatserface'd be crying on each other's shoulders if I copped it. Angel might brood, but then, he doesn't really need an excuse.

So … how's life? I've heard it's fun.

Again, sorry. It's this writing shit, B – I try to just write it how I'd say it, but it doesn't feel right. There's this chick here who gives us English classes, education programs, you know? You probably don't, but just nod and smile. Anyway, this chick, Becka, reckons that for some things, we should just write as quickly as we can, and try not to edit the soul out of the piece. They're her words. There's another bad joke in there, but I'll leave it for Xander to find.

Yeah, you can let the Scoobies read this. You probably would anyway, sharin' (check it out, B! Punctuation!) it with Giles and Will and Dawn and the rest.

Heard about your mom, by the way. Sorry. You're probably screwin' this up right now, but if you're still reading, I mean it. Joyce was cool, in a not-cool sort of way. She tried, you know? She was okay. And she cooked some mean fries.

Sorry about Riley, too. Angel keeps me up to date. Wicked unfair, the way it never works out. For either of us. For us.

I was gonna say this better, but I can't seem to figure out the words. But 'us' seems like a good place. I guess there never was an 'us', but there could have been. I would have liked there to have been.

I was gonna make that sound all nice and Grammatically Correct – another one of Becka's terms – but it came out like that. It's true, and if I change it, I might lose my nerve.

Funny thing is, used to be that if I lost my nerve, you'd help. You did with Kakistos, at least. Not so much the other times, but I guess I wasn't wanting help later. You have to admit, you screwed up big when you hid Angel. Damn, but I was so pissed off at you. And him, all big and broody. And the Post bitch, and the rest. All cute and gorgeous and funny. You think real people are like that? It made me so angry, seeing the whole Scooby Gang in their nice houses with their nice families and their nice puppies, while I grew up in a trailer. I mean, *please*. It was like watching 90210 for god's sake!

Okay, so Xander wasn't in a nice house with a nice family. But he might as well have been, because he had the Scooby Gang.

I'm not angry, 'cos there's not much point in gettin' angry when you can't kill anything. But you gotta *think* about someone other than yourself, B. Just once in a while.

Think of me while you're at it.

Faith

PS: Not sure I said any of the stuff I set out to say, but that's kind of me all over. Never quite gettin' it right. So we'll leave it as it is.

PPS: Sorry. I wasn't gonna add anything, but I guess that needs to be said. I screwed up, big time, and I'm sorry.

I guess if you're reading this, I'll be finding out how that whole redemption thing went. I'd say wish me luck, except that we're Slayers. We make our own luck.

END

Feedback and chocolate: elizabeth_barr@yahoo.com.au

The characters and universe herein are the properties of Joss Whedon, 20th Century Fox, Mutant Enemy, Sandollar and Greenwolf Productions.