Chapter summary: The discovery of Snape and Lily's relationship leads the boys to share a few secrets of their own.  Also features cameos by Lucius Malfoy, Alastor Moody, Neville's gran's hat, and a surprise guest star.

Complete notes and disclaimers are at the beginning; notes for this chapter are below.
 
 

Sirius was the first to find his voice: he started laughing, quiet chuckles with a hint of malice and hysteria.

"God," he said quietly, "still waters, eh?  You had us all fooled, Lily."  He turned to James.  "You never stood a chance. She has lousy taste."

Lily didn't allow herself to be distracted.  Without taking her eyes off James, she said, "I can't believe you did this to me."

"I did this?"  James' voice was cold and flippant.  "You've been lying to all of us – acting like you were one of us—"

"One of you?" Severus sneered.  "What a disgusting thought."

"As if you can talk," Sirius said.  Severus drew his wand, but Lily held him back.

"Don't.  It won't help."

"Gosh, that's so noble," said James.  "You must have had a fine old laugh at us—"

"Sneaking around with Snape – I can't believe you'd choose him over James!" said Peter.

"That's completely unfair!"  Lily's voice echoed through the library and beyond, and everyone froze.

"Good one, Lily," said Peter, "now Filch'll catch us and we'll all be in trouble."

"Well, I'm sure Potter will charm his way out of detention," said Severus, "and if you're lucky, he'll come back for the rest of you."

"Quiet," snapped James.  In the ensuing silence, they heard a distant miaow.  Soft footsteps approached the library.  "Right.  Everyone split up, we'll meet again in the kitchens.  Filch never goes down there," he added for benefit of Lily and Severus.  He threw the Invisibility Cloak at them, and disappeared into the shadows with the rest of the boys.

Lily wrapped the voluminous cloak around herself and Severus and whispered, "Is our corner concealed?"

"Not quite.  Are we really going with them?"

"We can hardly hunt them all down and Obliviate them."  There was a speculative silence.  "Really.  We can't.  And I'd rather have you there when I talk to them."

"Very well."

They gathered their things and made their way downstairs.  Peter was already in the kitchen, biting his nails and looking pale.

"Peter," Lily said.  He ignored her, glaring over her shoulder at Snape and saying nothing.  She reached for Severus' hand, and they sat down at one of the long tables.  House Elves flashed around them, no doubt preparing the next day's breakfast.  One appeared by their sides.

"Is sirs and madam wanting anything?" it – she – asked.

"A cup of tea," Lily said.

"Scones with butter and jam, please," Peter said.  Severus shifted in his chair and said nothing.

They sat in silence until Sirius arrived ten minutes later.  James followed him shortly after that.  They looked smug and amused, and at Peter's questioning look, Sirius said, "Got Peeves in on the game.  Filch'll be in the West Tower all night."

Severus scowled.  "You're such hypocrites, all of you.  You worship the ground Hagrid walks on, but treat Filch like dirt."

"Filch is dirt," said Sirius.  "Nasty, vindictive, bitter dirt.  And you'd better not say a word against Hagrid, because Filch isn't fit to wipe his boots, let alone—"

"I like Hagrid.  He's a better specimen of human than any of you lot."

"And what would you know about humanity anyway, Snape?"  Peter demanded.

Lily ignored this argument and concentrated on James, who was staring at her.  His face was a study in mixed emotions: anger, hatred, disappointment, desire.  His eyes burned with unasked, unaskable questions.

"How long?" he said suddenly.  Everyone else fell silent.

"Since Christmas."

"Crowley's project."

"Yes."

"What was it?" Sirius asked, "some kind of love potion?  He could have dosed you with anything … you could be under Imperius!"

"Don't try and pretend that this isn't my fault," snapped Lily.  She'd had a similar argument with her mother, she remembered, but she had no time to analyse the realisation.  Severus had sprung to his feet, cat-like, and everyone was yelling at everyone else.  Only she and James were silent.  James merely looked despairing, and a little guilty.

Lily stood up, glared at everyone and said, "Sit down.  All of you."  To her surprise, they obeyed.  "Frankly, I agree with Severus: you're all hypocrites.  How dare you treat me like some kind of traitor?  Just because I have a life beyond you lot – and when the hell did I become your female auxiliary, anyway?  I used to have a life of my own – I used to have friends – tell me, if I hadn't spent the last year following you around like a puppy-dog, would you even care that Severus and I—"

"Yes!" said Sirius and Peter.

"I'd care," James murmured.

"You don't know for certain," Lily said.

"You're our friend," said Sirius.  "You've always been our friend, even when the Reynolds twins were here—"

"Friend?  If you were my friends, you'd tell me why you're always sneaking around.  You'd share the big, dark secret you're all hiding.  Where the hell is Remus, and what kind of map was Peter waving around?"

Beside her, Severus stirred with interest.  "Yes," he said, "you can't tell me that you all spontaneously woke up and hurried downstairs to protect Lily's honour."

"That's none of your business," James hissed.

"Then neither is my life," said Lily.

Peter scowled, and Sirius said, "But – why Snape?  What can he possibly offer you – what do you see in him?"

"What have I done to you?" Lily demanded.

At the same time, Severus stirred and said, "You're a pathetic hypocrite, Black, you know perfectly well—"  They broke off simultaneously, as Sirius flinched and James flushed.  Peter looked on in confusion.

"How do you know…" Sirius looked from James to Lily to Snape.  "Right."

"Know about what?" asked Peter.

With a malicious gleam in his eye, Severus said, "This paragon of Gryffindor honour, this shining example to all of us, spent six months of last year running around with Marguerite Da Silva."  James took two steps towards Lily, looking furious, but before he could speak, Severus added softly, "Marguerite told me all about it."

James subsided, but he still looked mistrustful, as if he had found the world turned completely inside-out.

Peter looked appalled.  "You – Marguerite – God!  I can't trust any of you!  And I thought we were friends…"  He began to storm out, but James caught his arm.

"I have no dark secrets.  You know that."

"Then why was Lily sneaking out of your room at two in the morning after the Quidditch try-outs?"  Lily blushed under Severus' suspicious, hurt gaze.  "I didn't say anything, but I thought – well, I thought it was great. You may not have been going out that day, but you were definitely—"

"She just came in to talk," said James.  "I promise you.  We just talked."

"Yeah, right."

"Look, it's the truth," said Lily, exhausted beyond words.  "I can't give you more than that."  She met Severus' eyes; amazingly, he slowly relaxed.

"Hey," said James, "if Snape believes it, then why won't you?"

"So I should just forgive her?" asked Peter, "like I did with Remus?"

James gave Lily and Severus a nervous look. "It's completely different."

"If you say so."  Peter glared at Lily.  "I don't particularly want to be here right now. I'm going to bed."

"What about Filch?" Lily asked.

Peter shrugged.  "I'll manage."  The kitchen doors closed behind him.

"I can't help noticing," said Sirius to Lily, "that you didn't look particularly surprised at-"

"I told her," said James.  Sirius scowled.

"You and I really need to talk.  James, I told you about that in confidence--"

"You want to talk about it now?"

"Later.  When the scum has cleared out."  Sirius scowled at Severus.

Lily's long-suppressed tears suddenly escaped in a noisy, painful sob.  Severus' hand tightened around hers, but he made no further comforting move.

"Fine friends you all are," he mocked.  "I always knew you were despicable."

"Come on, James," said Sirius, "let's get to bed … better than wasting more time on these two."  James lingered a moment, then followed him out.

Lily buried her head in Severus' shoulder and began to cry properly.  The house elves had all fled at the first sign of conflict; now, one timidly approached the table.

"Is sir and madam wanting anything else?"

"No," said Severus.  "Nothing."

"Then…"  The house elf hesitated, drawing all of its courage together and beating its hands heavily against the table, "then, if sir and madam are finished … if there is nothing else … we is needing to prepare breakfast…"

"I think we're being evicted," Lily said.

"It would appear that way."

They separated in the Entrance Hall, Severus fading into the shadows while Lily wrapped herself in the Invisibility Cloak.

James was waiting in the common room, looking as pale and sick as in the days after his family's death.  He watched her hungrily as she removed the Invisibility Cloak.

"I really trusted you," he said.

"No.  You didn't.  Where was Remus tonight, James?"

He looked away.  "I can't tell you."

"You see?"  Lily walked away.  At the entrance to the girls' staircase, she turned back.  "You've known for a week, haven't you?  Since Diagon Alley."  He nodded.  "So you sent Peter and Sirius off to 'save' me, knowing what they would find … you're such a coward, you couldn't just ask me … you had to have all of your friends around you."

"If I had asked you … would you have given me an honest answer?"

"You did ask, James," said Lily.  "You fell asleep before I said anything."

"You're evading the question."

"Fine, then.  I don't know.  Happy?"

"No.  Why Snape?"  He laughed a little.  "I mean, you obviously have lousy taste in men, so why Snape?  Did you go looking for the very worst the wizarding world had to offer?  Why Snape, when there are so many other prats and scumbags around?  Lucius Malfoy's single.  So's Cornelius Fudge, and the Minister's son … I hear that You-Know-Who's available."  In a smaller voice, he added, "I'm free.  And I must be the biggest prat in England right now."

"Yes," said Lily, "I'd say you are.  And don't take this the wrong way, James, but right now, I'd sooner spend a romantic evening with Voldemort than you.  I'd sooner sleep with a snake."

"From the look of things this evening, I'd say you're more than halfway there."

For a moment, Lily considered slapping, or possibly cursing him.  Instead, she turned on her heel and walked away.

She returned to her dorm, but barely slept at all.

None of the boys were speaking to each other at breakfast the next morning, and Remus was still absent.  The Slytherin Quidditch team trooped out to practice.  One Ravenclaw student hissed at them, but recoiled at the murderous look Severus gave him.  Lily ate quickly and returned to her dorm, followed by Mary.

"Did you and James have a fight?"

"No.  Yes.  What business is it of yours, anyway?"

"None.  I just wanted to know."

"Oh well, at least you're honest."  Lily curled up on her bed, and Mary settled down to read Witch Weekly.

Shortly before lunch, James knocked at the door.

"Can I come in?"

"No."

"I need to talk to you."  He glared at Mary, who had put her magazine down, watching them with unconcealed curiosity.  "Privately."

"No.  Don't you know what people are saying about you and me?"

"Yeah.  I know."  James leaned against the doorframe, attempting to seem nonchalant, although he looked like a gangly, scared boy.  "Mary, I really would like you to leave."

"Why?"

"So I can shag Lily senseless, Mary, why do you think?"

Mary blushed and skittered out.  Lily rolled over so that she wasn't facing him, and mumbled, "You should be nicer to her.  She likes you a lot.  Still."

"She's a gossipy little cow with no empathy for people who didn't get their magic from their parents."

"She's just an idiot."

James gingerly sat on her bed. Lily prepared to debate or ignore anything he said.

"I came to apologise."

That was unexpected.  She rolled over, so that she was looking up at him.

"Really?"

"Truly.  I was a manipulative prat.  Um … I'm sorry."

Lily sat up, and James moved back to the other end of the bed.

"Can we talk?" he asked.  "Honestly, I mean.  Without any of the polite fictions and things we normally hide."

"I don't know," said Lily.  "But … if we could try … honesty is something I've been craving of late."

They stared at each other in silence, and Lily suddenly understood why the barriers existed in the first place: the promise of that kind of honesty terrifying.  She felt utterly exposed, and he hadn't even said a word.

James looked at her, took a deep breath and said, "I love you.  I have since … well, I don't know when.  Sometime in fifth year, maybe.  I'm sorry – I can remember when you went from being a nice girl in my year to someone I wanted as a friend – that was our first prefect meeting.  But I can't remember when being around you turned me into a babbling idiot…"

Lily stared at her knees.  "I don't think that becoming a babbling idiot is a symptom of love."

"Maybe not.  But it's not just that."

"I don't love you."

"I know."

"I'm sorry."

"It's not your fault, I guess.  Even if Snape wasn't around, it might still be the same."

"No.  It would be different … I like you, and I want to be close to you … I just don't know if I love you, except as a brother."

"You kissed me."

"I did."

James ran a hand through his hair.  "Do you love Snape?"

"Yes."

"Why?"  Sounding a little angry, he said, "I know we've covered this, but I think it bears repeating.  What has Snape ever done to deserve the love of a girl like you?"

"What has he done not to deserve it?  And when did it become a matter of 'deserving', anyway?"

"He just doesn't seem like your type.  Or maybe he is, I don't know.  Do you have a type?"

"I really don't know."  Lily took a deep breath.  "He's complicated.  All made up of layers and masks … I feel like I could peel them back and find his real soul … bring the person within out into the light."

"He'd probably go up in flames," James muttered.  "It sounds like you want to peel him like an onion.  Looking for the seeds."

"Onions don't have seeds, James."

"Just so."

"You barely know him at all."

"He's never given me a chance.  He hated me before I even noticed he existed.  Anyway, you yourself said he's into masks.  I see a nasty, dangerous Slytherin.  You see the amazing human onion.  Do you trust him?"

The speed of the question made Lily's head spin.  "As much as I trust you."

"Um.  One of us has just been insulted.  I think."

"No.  Both of you have received the highest compliment I can give."

He blushed.  "I want to be your friend, if you'll let me.  If Snape will let me."

"He doesn't choose my friends."

"Um.  Right."

"This won't work at all if you and he cannot reach agreement."

"I know.  I know."  He laughed nervously, and they stared at each other.

"So," said Lily carefully, "in complete honesty.  What have you been keeping from me all this time?"

James swallowed.  "It's complicated.  Well, not precisely.  In some ways, it's very simple.  But I can't tell you everything."

"You promised—"

"I would if I could!  You just have to trust me.  I had a long talk with Remus before I came up here.  Told him everything … he'd had a garbled version from Peter already.  He's pretty angry, but he can tell you everything that I can't."

"So tell me, then.  What you can."

"I'm an illegal Animagus."

Lily had expected something outrageous and unexpected, but this was more than she'd anticipated.

"A … a … why?"  Her mind began to race.  "James, that's really serious!  If you're caught, you might never be allowed to practice magic!  If you commit crimes as an Animagus, they'll have your wand … why have you done this?"

"That's the bit I can't tell you.  But I promise you, Lily, we've the best of intentions."

"'We?'  Oh no … it's all of you, isn't it?  You're all Animagi."

He grinned. "Brilliant, isn't it?"

"No!  It's dangerous and secretive and highly illegal!"

"We've gotten away with it so far."

"Yes, but for how much longer?"

He paled.  "You're not going to tell anyone, are you?"

"No.  I don't think so."

"Not even Snape?"

This was the real test, Lily knew.  She'd kept secrets from her friends for months, and now she was to keep things from Severus.  It was utterly unfair.

"Please," James said, "our reasons are good. You don't even know the full story, yet."

Lily stood up and made her way to the window.  Down on the Quidditch pitch, distant figures in green were flying.  She couldn't distinguish Severus from his teammates.

"What's your form?" she asked.  "Your Animagus form?"

He smiled, rather shyly.  "There's not a lot of room in here…"

"You're an elephant?"

James' grin widened, and he used his wand to push Geraldine's bed out of the way.  Then, with a smoothness that amazed Lily, he transformed into an enormous stag.

"'Prongs'," she said with disgust as he returned to his human form.  The nickname finally made sense.  "You always were brilliant at Transfiguration."

"Yeah.  And Sirius can do anything he puts his mind to, the great prat.  Peter, too."

"And Remus?"

"It's a bit complicated there."

"And you can't tell me."

"Sorry."

They both sat down on Lily's bed, sharing a moment of emotional exhaustion.  Lily felt oddly buoyant, for even with all the complications he carried – and revelled in, she suspected – she was glad to have James as a friend.

"In the spirit of complete honesty," she said, "is there anything else you feel that I should know?"

"Nothing much.  I had a crush on my brother's girlfriend when I was thirteen.  I can't write poetry, but I can write songs, provided that they're about Quidditch and Butterbeer and have 'rah rah' in the chorus.  I used to want to be in a band, but Remus and Peter both said no, and my parents wanted me to go into the Ministry.  I'm starting to think that I'd like to be Minister of Magic one day, but politics scare me.  I used to eat dirt.  I like redheads and tall girls who can play Quidditch.  I think that girls on broomsticks are really sexy, and I'm scared to go to a Holyhead Harpies game, because I know I'll embarrass myself, and I think I'm rambling, and you don't want to hear any of this…"

Lily stared at him.  "You used to eat dirt?"

"Um.  Yeah.  And I sometimes mixed it with water and pretended it was a potion.  Come to think of it, that mud was probably more magical than most of the stuff I brew in class."

"You ate dirt?"

"This is going to haunt me, I can see.  I'll be inaugurated as Minister of Magic, and you'll be in the crowd telling your little clutch of Snapelings that the Minister used to eat dirt."

"James?"

"Yes?"

"You are truly one of a kind."

"I am pretty special, aren't I?"

"Fortunately for the human race, you seem to be unique."

"Um.  Thanks."

"Any time."  Lily drew her wand and returned to room to its original state and turned back to James.  "Remus?"

"Hospital wing."

"Is he angry?"

"He was very quiet."

"He's furious, then."

"Absolutely livid."

"Right."

"Right."  Lily stood up and marched towards the door.  "I'll go and face the wolf in his den."

"Funny you should say that…" James mumbled as she walked away.

***

"A werewolf."

"Yes."  Remus' detached, ironic tone of voice didn't change as he said, "Do try not to tell the world this time."

"I won't," Lily promised.  "I won't tell anyone."

"Especially not Snape."

"I understand."  She glared at him, wondering how much of his attitude was genuine dislike, and how much was plain House prejudice.  "I don't agree, but I understand."

"So glad to hear it."

Feeling that the interview was over, Lily rose to her feet, wrapping her arms around herself.  "I never wanted to keep this a secret from you," she said softly.

"I did."  He stared at the wall for a minute, considering, then sat up.  "The werewolf business … I wanted to keep everything a secret.  Forever.  I was furious when James and Sirius figured it out in second year.  I wouldn't have told you if James hadn't talked me into it."

"Why?  What did he say?"

He sighed.  "'Love is like a werewolf bite, and sometimes as hard to admit to.'"  He smiled, his demeanour softening.  "It sounds awfully trite, coming from me.  James had a little dance to go with it, but I'm too tired to show it to you."

"Remus," Lily returned to his side, "if I'd known, I'd have become an Animagus with the rest of them."

"Really?"

"Truly.  That's what friends are for, I guess.  That's what I'd want my friends to do for me."

He frowned.  "I didn't want them to do it. It's an incredible risk, and we'll all get in terrific trouble if we're caught.  Which we inevitably will.  Sooner or later, they'll have to register themselves, and the story will come out.  But … I'm glad they did."

"There's a Potion," Lily said.  "It's still experimental, but it's supposed to make transformations easier."  Now that she knew what to look for, Lily could see the remains of bruises that hadn't quite been healed by magic, and the traces of other injuries besides.  She had a new respect for Remus' ability to escape notice, to fade into the background when he had something to hide.  Keeping things from her friends for the last months had almost destroyed her – how much harder was Remus' life?

She also knew, with an awful kind of certainty, that Severus would never understand or respect Remus' need for secrecy.  She unhappily admitted that she wouldn't trust him not to use the knowledge to his own advantage.

Secrets.  Again.

"Is it awful?" she asked.  "The transformations, I mean."

"Hideous.  I'd give almost anything for it to be easier.  And safer."

"Can't the others stop you from hurting yourself?"

"Not without doing some damage."

"I'm sorry."

"I don't want your sympathy."

Lily smiled.  "You know, you boys have more in common with Severus than I'd thought.  It's not just James, it's all of you."

Remus stared at her in shock, and then began to chuckle.  "I don't think I've ever been so insulted … I'm in the best and worst of company, and I'm not completely certain which is which."

Despite herself, Lily began to giggle as well.  "They're all the best, you idiot," she choked out, "and the funniest thing is the way you're all too pigheaded to see it."

***

"You mean you started telling jokes?"  Incredulous, Severus concentrated on the potion before him.  Lily, unable to join him in his black mood, started to laugh again, and his scowl deepened.

"Don't give me the humourless-Slytherin-with-a-heart-of-obsidian routine, Severus.  We both know it's a sham."

"I don't understand—" he punctuated each syllable with a vicious slice through a pufferfish – "how you can regard them as friends after last night."

"Well, I admit that Sirius and Peter wouldn't look me in the eye at lunch, but James and Remus were both remarkable. Eventually."  She decided not to tell Severus about James' comments in the common room last night, or the sincere humility of his apology.

"I don't trust them."

"I do."

"Potter arranged the whole thing, you know."

"I know," she snapped, "I know.  I yelled, he apologised, he is forgiven."

"He only apologised because he saw the consequences and didn't like them.  A Slytherin—"

"Would have found a way back into my good books without apologising, possibly while being a patronising git."

Severus gave her a puzzled look.  "I'm … sorry?"

Lily kissed him.  "See?  That wasn't so hard, now, was it?"

"I was going to say that a Slytherin would have arranged for the consequences that he wanted to take place."

"If you say so."

"You're laughing at me."

Lily took a seat beside him.  "I've had no sleep, and a very stressful week.  Month.  If I don't laugh, I'll cry.  I've decided to laugh."  Resting her head on his shoulder and watching the hypnotic bubbling of the cauldron, she said, "Nancy told me that the boys don't play manipulative games.  Obviously, she was wrong, but I believe them when they promise to stop."

"I can't imagine trusting anyone like that.  Least of all Potter and Black."

"I know.  But you're learning."  Lily smiled slightly.  "You could become friends with them."

His eyes widened in horror.  "No.  No, I couldn't.  Absolutely not."

"I don't expect you to become best friends, drinking partners for life, that sort of thing.  I just want you all to relax to the point where you can be in the same room without violence erupting."

"Disarming as your idealism is," Severus murmured as he kissed her, "it will only get you in trouble."

***

"Add the powdered root of asphodel slowly," said Crowley, her voice echoing slightly in the dungeon.  "If you become impatient," her gaze raked over James and Sirius, "you will upset the mixture, with unpredictable results.  Likewise, if you are overly hesitant," here, she glanced at Remus, Lily and Peter, "the transfusion will lose its potency.  Steady, firm and restrained," she looked over Lily's head at Severus, "that is the key.  The Draught of Living Death is an exercise in control.  The magic is in the mixing, not the mix."

Unusually, Crowley hadn't demonstrated the Potion herself.  Normally, she relished the opportunity to show off her fine, controlled technique.  But watching her closely, Lily saw a faint tremor in Crowley's fingers, echoed in the tension around her eyes.

Remus leaned over.  "Lily, what do I do with the flower?"

"Nothing," Lily whispered, glancing at the shredded plants on her workbench.  "It's only the root you want.  Throw the flower away.  It's useless."

"That's an unfair assessment, Evans," said Crowley, silently appearing by her side.  "The Greeks used asphodel in cures for snakebites.  Most of their recipes are lost, but a few remain.  I believe that Madam Aurelia Snape makes it her business to translate them, where possible."

"I didn't know that."

"Your ignorance is unbecoming.  For example, were you aware that the asphodel is a variety of lily?"

"Yes," said Lily quietly, "it was said to nourish the souls of the dead.  In societies where witches and wizards are buried, it's often planted around the tombs."

"I'm pleased to see that your summer was not a complete waste of time."  An odd gleam appeared in Crowley's eyes.  "Do you know anything about the creation of the race of Dementors"

"I read a book about it last month."  Lily wondered if Crowley could have known that: she and Madam Snape were only a few years apart, and both were regarded as leaders in their fields.  Surely, though, their correspondence, if it existed, would be professional.  Why would they discuss Lily's summer reading material?

Crowley offered no answer to these questions.  As enigmatic as ever, she sniffed and turned her attention to Peter.

Their little group had fractured with the revelations of the weekend.  Sirius ignored Lily all together, while Peter sometimes watched her with a puzzled, hurt expression on his face.  Remembering his conspiratorial glee when he'd believed that she was with James, she thought she understood.  Severus had never been good to Peter, who would never understand why she would choose a Slytherin over James.

Relations between Sirius and Peter were also cool, but they were on speaking terms, at least.  Remus was somewhat detached towards Sirius, but spent a great deal of time with Peter.

James, typically, was on good terms with everyone, but evenings in the common room had become awkward.  Jokes fell flat, and conversation was stilted.  Despite this, Lily felt bad for slipping away to the library; she'd feel someone's eyes on her retreating back, and know that they were wondering if she was going to see Severus.

Though she had access to the female prefects' bathroom, Lily often used the facilities in Gryffindor Tower in the evenings.  She wanted to share as little time and space as possible with Marguerite, and Moaning Myrtle had the nasty habit of hanging around and criticising the female prefects' appearances.  Lily didn't even want to consider what she said to the boys.

One night, she overheard Delia Holman asking a second year girl about the unpleasant atmosphere in the common room.

"Oh, they're fighting over that girl," the second year replied carelessly.  "That tall, skinny one with the orange hair.  Lily.  I heard that she was going out with James, but Sirius hoped that she'd want to be with him if he put her on the Quidditch team.  Now she's not going out with any of them, and they all hate each other because of it.  I'm not surprised, of course.  What would you expect from a Muggle-born – they don't know how to behave properly."

"I'm a Muggle-born," Delia said quietly.  Lily, listening from the seclusion of her shower stall, admired the younger girl's self-confidence and pride as she said this.  She had never had that much courage as an eleven-year-old.

"Yes, well," the second year mumbled, and fled.

Lily put her robe on and emerged from the stall.  Delia's eyes widened as she saw her approach in the mirror.

"You heard that?"

"All of it."

"Is it true?"

Despite her weary anger, Lily found herself laughing.  "Not a bit of it.  Not a word."  She ruffled Delia's hair as she walked out, and added, "especially the bit about Muggle-borns.  But you obviously didn't need me to tell you that."

Delia's answering grin was more refreshing than anything Lily could have imagined, but from now on, she decided, she was going to use the prefect's bathroom, Moaning Myrtle be damned.

Lily asked James if the awkwardness between everyone was difficult for him, as they prepared for the first prefect meeting of the year.

"They'll come around," he said.  "They always do.  We did the same thing when we found out about Remus—" He broke off as Severus entered.  They were the only people in the room, but Severus confined himself to clasping Lily's hand, instead of offering the kiss she wanted.  He glanced warily at James.

James gritted his teeth audibly, and said, "Snape.  I need some advice with Potions, because frankly, I think I'm going to fail this year."

"Speak to Lily. I already tutor half of Slytherin House."

"I can't talk to both of you?  Anyway, I'm probably the only person in the school who can actually afford those outrageous fees you charge."

Severus seated himself.  "Potter, yesterday Black pinned me against a wall and threatened me with violence.  He didn't even bother to use magic – I could have defended myself if he had.  Today, Pettigrew attempted to hex me.  Why should I speak to you?  Why would I care?"

"Because I'm your girlfriend's best friend?"  James said just as the Head Boy entered.

"Are you?"  Lockhart looked like nothing more than Bertha Jorkins settling down for a good gossip. "Who is your girlfriend, Snape?"

Severus sneered.  "Why on earth would I tell you?"

Lockhart laughed as if this were actually funny.  "Come, come, we're all friends here."

Severus and James wore identical dumbfounded looks, but Lockhart was rescued by the entrance of Antoinette Hamilton, the Head Girl.  She gave Lockhart an irritated look and said, "Whatever you're playing at, Gilderoy, you're probably being a prat."

"That's a bit unfair," Lockhart began. He moved towards the head of the table, but Antoinette beat him to it, and he was forced to take the foot.  Other prefects were trickling in.  Marguerite gave Lily a cool smile, which Lily returned.

"Right," snapped Antoinette as the last person entered, "this meeting is in session.  The first order of business…"  It was clearly going to be a more formal system than under Frank.

The fourth issue on the agenda was the upcoming wedding between Nancy McIntyre and Frank Longbottom, which was to take place in Hogsmeade in a few weeks.  In addition to the Ministry guests who would normally attend a society wedding like this, a large number of Hogwarts students had been invited.

"Given that most of the student guests will be Gryffindors," Antoinette said, "we will depend on that house's prefects to keep order."  She glared at James.  "I hope you'll rise to the challenge."

Danny Gudgeon, a seventh-year Gryffindor, frowned.  "Why wouldn't we?"

"All I'm saying is, you lot have a lousy reputation."

James opened his mouth to protest.  Lily grabbed his arm and made him relax.  Antoinette was an unknown quantity, and Gilderoy's support would be worse than useless.  Better to let it go.  Severus smirked slightly, but said nothing.

For a while, things seemed easier.  Lily concentrated on studying, finding the intricacies of Arithmancy and Transfiguration easier to deal with than her personal life.  Crowley had given her a pile of extra reading, some of it by the same man who had written the book on Dementors, and she spent a great deal of time deciphering the archaic language.

On nights when the library was busy, Severus would sometimes stalk in and take a seat opposite hers – left free by a convenient Distraction Charm – with a sneer and a sarcastic comment.  They would work in silence, barely even making eye contact, while his legs brushed against hers.

Peter joined her as she left the library after one such session.

"You really like him, don't you."

"Yes.  I can see why that's hard to understand," Severus had never been good to Peter, "but I do.  I really do."

Peter paused on the stairs up to Gryffindor Tower, biting his lip.  "I spoke to Sirius today."

"And?"

"And … I guess we're friends again.  So if you'll forgive me, I'd really like—" He broke off as Lily threw her arms around him.

"I'm so glad," she said.  "You were one of my first friends at Hogwarts, you know."  She kissed him on the cheek, and he blushed.

"I know, I know."

"And I hated to lie to you, I really did."

"I know.  I can see that now.  Sirius said the same thing."

"That was the worst part, you know, the lying."

Peter nodded.  "Friends again, then?"

"Always."

***

So many Hogwarts students had been invited to Frank and Nancy's wedding that Dumbledore had somehow been persuaded to give them an extra free weekend.  Even a few first years were invited, including Bill Weasley, whose family were friendly with the McIntyres.

In addition to this, the first town visit was also brought forward by several weeks, to allow students to buy wedding presents and dress robes.  Lily marvelled as she heard of these arrangements; she hadn't realised that Frank and Nancy's families were so influential.  There were rumours that the Board of Governors had persuaded Dumbledore to go through with the special plans.

"But that's nothing," said Severus when she asked about it early one morning.  They had taken advantage of the lingering warm days to creep out of their dorms and sit by the lake as the sun rose.  "Until last century, the old families would have their weddings at Hogwarts itself.  The pureblood students, and halfbloods from good families, were forced to attend, and cast charms of goodwill over the couple.  Though according to legend, some of the more politically-minded students would cast their charms awry, so that the marriages would fail."

"And the Muggle-borns?"

Severus paused.  "Muggle-borns weren't admitted to Hogwarts between 1762 and 1840."

"Ah."

"They don't talk about that now, of course.  It was the Bloody Baron that told me.  Hogwarts: A History is a very unsatisfactory book, in many ways."

"Yes.  I suppose it is.  What happened to the Muggle-borns?"

"Beauxbatons took the wealthy ones – those that were permitted to go to school in France, anyway – and the rest were left to fend for themselves.  Although I've heard that a few trained witches and wizards took jobs as tutors or governesses for the Muggle-borns, where possible."

"It's unfair."

"Yes.  I suppose it was."

***

Lily and the boys spent the third Saturday of November wandering around Hogsmeade in search of the perfect wedding gift.  By the afternoon, they were tired, fractious and ready to give up.  James and Sirius were proposing increasingly absurd and ribald gifts as they stumbled into the Three Broomsticks.

"Love Potion."

"A bit redundant, isn't it?  A step by step guide to brewing, uh, enhancement potions?"

"Let's not get ahead of ourselves.  How about an illustrated guide to—"

James elbowed Sirius in the ribs.  "Not in front of the girls, Padfoot."

Lily had yet to see Sirius' Animagus shape, but she was inclined to guess that he was a dog of sorts.  Peter had already showed her his rat form, and earned himself a hexing from her, and accolades from the boys, when he managed to conceal himself in her cloak and get into the girls' bathroom.  Really, Lily had thought, there were limits to friendship.

"Girl, singular," Sirius said, "and I doubt it's anything she hasn't already—"

This time, it was Lily's elbow in his ribs.  "Don't," she said quietly.  "Don't say a word."

Sirius looked around, saw that he had no support, and backed down, but he offered no apology.

"Come on," said Remus, pointing to a semi-concealed table in the corner.  Lily could see Severus, sitting pensively in the shadows, and before she could stop them, the boys were leading her over.

Severus greeted them with a surly, "You shouldn't be here."

"The place is nearly empty," Lily pointed out.  Most Hogwarts students were doing the last of their shopping, before preparing to return to the school.

"That's beside the point.  You shouldn't be here now."

James was about to say something nasty, when a smooth voice from behind them said, "I believe that Severus is trying to say, he has a prior appointment."  Almost automatically, everyone stepped aside as Lucius Malfoy moved gracefully towards the table.  "Goodness me, what an array of notorious Gryffindors.  James Potter – such a tragedy about your family – and Sirius Black, the Halfblood.  And their friends and hangers on … and Lily Evans."  Malfoy raised a pale eyebrow at Severus.  "I was under the impression that she was a Ravenclaw."

"I lied," said Severus without flinching.

"No, she lied."  But Malfoy's eyes were amused, and he gave Lily an appraising glance.  "In any case, I found out about her house a month ago.  Congratulations on making the Quidditch team, Miss Evans."

"How did you know—" began James, but Malfoy cut him off.

"You're a promising young man, Mr Potter.  I'm willing to wager that all of your associates are equally impressive.  You seem to have your father's talent for surrounding himself with the best.  But my business today is with Mr Snape."  Malfoy smiled, very slightly.  "I'm not difficult to contact, if you wish to learn more about my – business arrangements.  But for now, I require privacy."  His smile grew, along with the sick feeling in Lily's stomach.  "Severus and I have a great deal to discuss."

The Gryffindors made their way back to the castle in silence.  As they neared Hogwarts, Sirius burst out, "Malfoy!  You do know what that means, don't you, Lily?"

"I do," said Lily.  She glanced at James, who had flopped down on the grass, ignoring them.  My hero.

"In fact," said Remus, "she's obviously met Malfoy before."

Sirius stared at her.  "It's like I barely knew you at all!  You seem like such a cool person, and then you turn out to be deceitful, sneaky, untrustworthy—"

"You're just going through synonyms," muttered Peter.

"I mean, what does he want with Snape, if not something Dark?  Come to that, what does he want with James?"

"Whatever it is," called James over his shoulder, "I doubt he'll respect me in the morning."

"I've heard about the Apprenticeship – you can't tell me that Snape would turn down an opportunity to learn the Dark Magic you can't get out of a book!"

"Why not?" Lily snapped, "it's true!"  She took a deep breath and calmed down.  "He was Apprenticed.  He walked away, for me."

"For you."  Sirius stared at her, assimilating this new knowledge.  Finally, he mumbled, "that's pretty impressive.  If it holds."

"That's unfair," Lily said, although the curses that his housemates had already inflicted were in her mind's eye.  How long would Severus hold out against his peers and long-respected elders?

"I dunno," said James, springing to his feet.  "It looked to me like Lucius was coming to ask him back.  Or maybe not ask."

"He can't do anything while we're at school," Lily said distantly.  "Dumbledore would never allow it.  Anyway, it takes too much time."

Lucius has a Time-Turner, Severus had said.

"Maybe," said James distantly, "but Malfoy owns property in Hogsmeade.  And you can get a lot done in a few hours."

***

Severus was withdrawn and distracted for the next week.  Even when they were studying in proximity, if not together, Lily had the feeling that he was miles away.  She knew the issue was preying heavily on his mind when it even affected his schoolwork.

Professor Spawforth had never spared any love for his Slytherin students, though he was their Head of House.  Now, he took advantage of Severus' weakness to bombard him with a relentless stream of criticism and sarcasm.  Ordinarily, Severus would have retaliated, and when he failed to do so, Spawforth only increased the hostility.

She had never liked Spawforth, whose cruelty seemed to send his Slytherins straight into the arms of people like Malfoy, who would exploit their anger, but Lily had never quite believed that he was really a Slytherin.  It was a standing joke among the younger students that he was really a Ravenclaw who had sat at the wrong table on his first night, and been too proud to move.  Now, though, she had no doubts that Spawforth was in the right house.

After the last class of the week, she sought Severus out.  He was at a desk in the almost-deserted library, staring at Most Potente Potions without actually seeing it.  He jumped when she put her hand on his shoulder.

"Come on," Lily said, and led him up to their private corner.

Once properly alone, she wrapped her arms around him and waited for him to respond.  A long time seemed to pass before he reciprocated, and even longer before he relaxed.  Severus was too wound up in himself to make an amorous move; despite her concern, Lily was faintly relieved.

"I don't know what to do," he said finally.

"Did Malfoy threaten you, then?"

"Not overtly.  But … I was apparently regarded as a wunderkind.  A great catch for the Dark Order.  For me to walk away is … very embarrassing for certain people."  He kissed her fingertips.  "You should be careful.  Right now, Lucius wants you for the Dark Order.  As soon as he is certain that you'll never allow it, he'll start trying to kill you."

"Do they really value you that much?"

"So I was told."  He must have seen the fear in her eyes, because he kissed her and said, "Look, Lucius was bluffing.  He'd never attack a student at Hogwarts, not in a million years.  But … you might want to be careful on holidays.  And perhaps make arrangements for your family.  Magical protection is expensive, though.  "  He frowned.  "My father left some money in trust for me, but I can't access it until I'm seventeen, and that's not for another six weeks.  But I doubt that Malfoy would act that quickly.  It's not in his nature."  Reluctantly, he added, "I suppose the Potter fortune would cover it."

"I don't want to ask for help."

"I understand."  Severus grimaced.  "Lucius also hinted that he'd rather like to see Potter turn to our – his side.  I think I'd almost prefer to be an Auror than competing with him in the Dark Order."

Despite her fear, Lily started laughing at his perversity.  When she'd calmed down, she said, "What about Dumbledore?"

"What about him?"

"Well, he could protect my family.  I'm sure he would – he cares about the Muggle-borns, we saw that.  And he knows about us."

Severus shifted.  "I don't want to involve him."

"Why not?  He likes you, I'm sure of it.  And he knows about you and I, remember?  He hoped I'd be a good influence on you – this is just the sort of thing he'd help us with."

"He sees too much," Severus muttered.  "I can't keep anything from him."

"So?"

"So … that makes me uncomfortable."

"Alright," said Lily, "but the second this threat becomes solid, I'm going to him.  With or without you."  Before he could argue, she said, "you're coming to the wedding tomorrow, aren't you?"

"You might be in danger from a very powerful Dark wizard, and you want to talk about weddings?"

"I want to talk about something happy, Severus.  Now.  Are you going?  Nancy said you'd be invited."

"I was. I'm going.  Along with the other Slytherins in our year.  Avery's father is friendly with McIntyre's; he told us how to sneak in."

"I didn't know they were invited."

"They're not.  Technically.  They've decided to go anyway."  Rather hesitantly he added, "I didn't exactly tell them that I'd been invited, either."

"Well, if that's the only way I'm going to be able to see you there…"

"It is."  As she'd hoped, he was distracted, albeit temporarily.  Lily responded to his kiss with a lighter heart than she'd had in days.

***

As promised, the Slytherin sixth years were among the crowd gathered on Hogsmeade Green, but they were inconspicuous and well-behaved.  James and the boys didn't even notice they were present until Peter pointed it out.  They had more important things on their minds.

"That," said Remus, pointing at Frank's mother, "is a great hat."

"Remus!" cried Lily, pushing his arm down, "of all of this lot, you're the last person I expected to embarrass me today."

"Yeah, but that's a great hat.  Look at it!"

Lily had to admit that Mrs Longbottom's hat was impressive, towering over the crowd.

"Is that a vulture?" asked Sirius.

"I think I'm in love with Frank's mother's hat," said Remus happily.

"Dangerous bit of nonsense, if you ask me," growled a voice behind them.  James turned in delight.

"Uncle Al!"

"James, my boy."  The newcomer, a craggy man of about McGonagall's age, gave James a quick hug, slapping him on the back and pushing him away to peer at him.  "You look good, boy.  Better than you did the last time I saw you, anyway.  Of course, that was just after—"

"I feel better," said James.  "Men – and Lily – this is my godfather, Alastor Moody.  Uncle Al, to Potters and anyone with enough courage to call him anything other than 'Sir'."

"Cheeky boy," growled Moody, swatting at James, who ducked easily.  "Might make a fine Auror, one day."

"If I'm not Minister of Magic."

"Oh, is that the latest plan?"  He gave James an assessing look.  "You might even make it, too."

This, Lily remembered, was the man who'd killed Severus' godfather.  Alastor Moody, the famous Auror.  And Frank Longbottom's relatives had taken his father to Azkaban.

Perhaps, she thought, it had been a bad idea to invite Severus along.  She turned to see if she could spot him again, but he'd disappeared into the milling crowd.  Instead, she saw a number of wizards who moved like Aurors, along with a few witches, and several faces she recognised from the Daily Prophet.

"Is the Minister coming?" she asked suddenly.

"Yes," said Moody, although he didn't look happy about it.  "He's at Hogwarts now, having a quick meeting with Dumbledore."  He drew an old-fashioned pocket-watch from his robes, and added, "in fact, they should be here now.  Everyone else is ready.  Minerva!"  He waved to Professor McGonagall, who joined them.  "What's keeping Albus?"

"The Minister's incessant twittering about purity of blood, I expect," she sniffed.  "Really, the man spends far too much time with—" she glanced at the students and broke off.  "Unsuitable elements.  But there's plenty of time.  Alastor, have you met Professor Spawforth, the Head of Slytherin House?"

"No."  A grin spread across Moody's lean face.  "But I've heard lots about him. Introduce me?"  He offered McGonagall his arm, and she took it with a small, rather feline smile.  Lily managed to restrain her laughter until they were out of earshot.

"'Unsuitable elements' indeed," said Sirius darkly.  "That still doesn't explain why Dumbledore is late.  Why can't the Minister twitter and walk at the same time?"

"Uses too many brain cells at once," said James, but he looked worried, and Lily found herself making sure that she had her wand.

In the end, they were forced to begin without the latecomers.  Mrs Longbottom was heard to comment, quite loudly, that if "certain parties couldn't organise themselves to attend a wedding on time, perhaps they should find less demanding careers."  Everyone took their seats, and Madam Pince revealed a hitherto unsuspected skill on the magical organ (which consisted of a keyboard, and a number of pipes suspended in mid-air) as Nancy was escorted down the aisle.  She was absolutely radiant in her white robes, oblivious to Sirius' aborted attempt at a catcall.  All of her attention was focused on Frank, and the attention of the crowd was focused on Nancy.

Lily could never remember the precise sequence of events that followed, but she was certain that no one had noticed when the first black-clad figure Apparated into the Green.

Alastor Moody saw the second figure, sprang to his feet and drew his wand, but the Green was already surrounded.  One cloaked man pulled a small child from his mother's arms, and held him aloft.  His mask glinted in the sunlight.

"If anyone moves," he said, "this child will die."

The wedding guests were frozen, waiting for the next move.

One last figure Apparated into the Green.  Casually, he pointed his wand at Albert Longbottom and said, "Avada kedavra."

Frank gave a strangled cry as his father fell.  The newcomer walked up the stairs and onto the dais, his footsteps echoing through the Green.  He removed his mask, revealing deathly-white skin and inhuman red eyes.

"Ladies and gentlemen.  Ministry officials.  Hogwarts students.  All you who fear to speak my name."  He smiled, enjoying his moment.  "I am Lord Voldemort."
 

to be continued
 

*doing the evil dance*

Team Beta: Jerie, the World's Greatest Beta, spotted the scene I wrote under the influence at 4am, and poked me until I fixed it.  Melina did the Dance of Adverbiness and cut down on my excessive words (but the author's notes are safe from the Red Pen of Doom!) and Sarah found the nasty little grammatical errors and typos that I always miss.  A special mention also goes to Ashfae, who pointed out that Alastor Moody might be James' godfather in my head, but it would be nice if I said so on paper as well.

Chapter title comes from "Spawn" by george, which also provided an earlier title.  We're coming full circle, or something.  Tori looms on the horizon.

Speaking of coming full circle, I returned to my fangirl roots and found myself quoting Lois McMaster Bujold in this chapter.  Haven't done that for a while.  "I'd rather sleep with a snake" comes from The Vor Game.  The onion exchange was inspired by Shards of Honor.

Antoinette Hamilton's name comes from A. J. Martin.  She didn't inspire the personality, but she can play Antoinette in the film adaption.

The next chapter will be out as soon as possible – which probably isn't all that soon.  My RL has become quite busy again, and I have another work in progress, "Girl Most Likely", which is also eating my brain.  I'd like to have NSP finished before OotP comes out, but even if that doesn’t happen, it will be finished.
 
 

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