Lucius Malfoy had cold, mocking grey eyes, and oddly sensuous lips which were partially concealed behind a small, blond goatee.  Despite the summer heat, he wore a heavy cloak over thick robes, but he had obviously used a few cooling charms, for he showed no sign of discomfort as he moved to shake her hand.

"Lily Evans," he echoed, and there was a mocking tone in his voice that made her think of Petunia.  "A friend from school … consorting with the Muggle-born, Sev?"

"She's a half-blood," said Severus before Lily could respond.  "Muggle father, wasn't it, Lily?"

"Oh – yes."

"Huh.  And a Weasley mother, by the looks of you."  Malfoy assessed her again, and Lily had to resist the urge to shrink away and shield her body from his eyes.  "A Gryffindor, then?"

He looked at her as though she was prey, she realised, and he was a predator.  A blind survival instinct prompted her to say, "Ravenclaw."  Severus gave her an approving look.  Malfoy dismissed her from his attention.

"You'll be coming to the Manor next month, won't you, Sev?"

"Of course."

"Good."  He smiled cruelly.  "I have some friends who'd love to meet you."

"Really?"  Severus looked curious.  "Who?"

"Oh, a few Ministry people.  And some friends from abroad.  Igor's looking forward to meeting you."

"Igor Karkaroff?"  Severus looked deeply impressed.  Lucius laughed.

"The very same."

"I'll certainly be there, then."

"Who is--?" Lily began.  Lucius' smile turned nasty.

"A writer.  Of some repute in certain circles."  He returned his attention to Severus.  "You couldn't even find a lover who shares your hobbies?  Poor boy … you'll have to educate her."

"She's not my—"

"Oh, don't worry about it, Sev.  We all like to play with the lower orders."  Lily bristled; Malfoy ignored her.  "I did, my father did … even that great Muggle-lover Potter did, before he got himself killed."  He laughed.  "They say that even the Dark Lord had Muggle lovers in his youth."

Malfoy smirked and walked away.  Lily had to restrain herself from throwing her ice cream at him.

"That is your old friend?" she demanded.

"More like an older brother."  Severus had the grace to look uncomfortable.  "He … has very strong beliefs.  But our families have been close for years.  Our fathers fought together in the Grindelwald War.  His father was killed, and my father helped take care him.  And when my father—" His face became cold.  "He's like an older brother," he said again.

Lily sighed and swallowed a scoop of ice cream, although it might have been mud for all that she could taste it.  "I shouldn't have drawn attention to myself."

"It could have been worse.  You're a good liar, you know."

"Thanks," she said sardonically.

"You're the one who chooses to be insulted, Evans," said Snape softly.  He pushed his untouched ice cream around in its bowl.  There was a small, half-healed cut on his left palm, and bruises around his thumbnail.  Wordlessly, Lily stroked his hand and felt him relax.

"It will be okay," she said, "won't it?"

"I expect so."  He withdrew his hand from beneath hers and shook his head in frustration.  "I'm sorry," he said awkwardly.  "Lucius had no right to say what he did.  Nor to treat you like that."

"It's not your fault.  You're not like him."

"No.  I'm not."  He seemed slightly cheered by this.

"Look," said Lily, "I know what kind of people you come from."

He smiled thinly.  "I'm sure you don't.  But go on."

"Well, I have a good idea, anyway.  But just because you know a lot of strange, scary people, or have an academic interest in the Dark Arts … well, I know that there's more to you than that.  You don't have to be like them - you're not like them, no matter how much you pretend."

Severus had looked increasingly shocked – or possibly amazed – as Lily spoke, and when she'd finished, he favoured her with one of his rare smiles and kissed her fingertips.

"Thankyou," he said.

"Any time."

They ate their ice cream in companionable silence.

When they had finished, Severus said, "This probably the last thing you're going to want to hear…"

"You're not pregnant, are you?"  He gave her a pointed look.  "Sorry.  Too much time around James and Sirius."

Severus opened his mouth, thought better of whatever it was he was about to say, and said, "I need to visit Knockturn Alley."

"What on earth for?"

"I need a book."

"What about Flourish and Blotts?"

"Their collection is completely inadequate, and I can hardly ask Mrs Blotts if they can order a copy of 'A History of the Dark Order'."

"Well, no…"

"I'll understand if you don't want to come – I could put it off for a day—"

"No."  Despite the prickling of her conscience, Lily felt a small thrill of excitement.  Not even James and Sirius had been down Knockturn Alley.   And she was still stung by Malfoy's casual dismissal, as if being Gryffindor, Muggle-born and moral made her a non-person.  "I'll come."

Severus smiled slightly, and she had the impression that he was proud of her.  "Let's go."

Knockturn Alley lacked even the brightly coloured defiance of Iron Nick Alley: it was dirty and dingy.  Some of the shops looked as though they would collapse at any moment.  Despite the heat of the afternoon, Lily shivered and drew closer to Severus.

Although they kept to the shadows, they were accosted by grimy street vendors.

"You have such pretty eyes, dear," rasped an elderly witch in Lily's ear, "would you sell them to an old sorceress…?"

"Fancy a witch, love?" drawled a younger woman to Severus.  She might have been attractive, but for the chunks of skin ripped from her arms.  "Come on, just a Galleon…"

They moved on without speaking.

A small, naked woman huddled on a doorstep, clutching a rat in her pudgy hand.  Folds of fat cushioned her body and concealed her eyes.  Her teeth were crooked and misshapen, and her voice sounded like a death rattle as she said, "This is my territory.  Mine…"

"Severus?"

"Yes?"

"I don't like this at all."

He said nothing, but his grip on her hand tightened.

Lily's skin prickled as they entered the bookstore.  The sunlight shone weakly through dirty windows, and the far end of the shop was illuminated by a couple of candles.  None of the books were new, and quite a number were covered in ominous stains.

"Severus!"  An old woman emerged from an inner room.  For a second, she looked like any well-dressed elderly woman, but then Lily saw that her skin was abnormally pale, and there were red-brown stains on her sharp teeth.

"Severus," Lily whispered, and the woman laughed.

"Who's your friend?  I don't believe I've seen her among your classmates."

"Her name's Lily.  Lily, this is Martha.  She's an old friend."

"She's a vampire."

"Yes," said Martha, "I am."

Lily forced herself to take a deep breath and think.  Some vampires could overcome the hunting instinct, some were almost respectable, some even owned Dark bookshops in Knockturn Alley… She swallowed her fear and shook Martha's hand.

"I'm sorry," she said, "I'm very pleased to meet you."

Severus was examining the bookshelves.  "Martha used to work for the Vampire Extermination Squad," he said.

"Until someone caught me, yes.  A decade of loyal service meant nothing to them – the Ministry wanted to exterminate me--"

"Typical," Severus muttered.

"—But my team wouldn't allow it.  They captured me, and forced me to overcome the bloodlust.  I could never re-enter respectable society, but I have a life … of sorts."  Her eyes clouded.  "Severus here claims that he'll discover a cure for vampirism, don't you, love?"

"One day," Severus murmured.  "Martha, do you have 'A History of the Dark Order'?"

"Try the back room.  Of course," Martha went on to Lily, "the first thing every Hufflepuff learns is that Slytherins can't be trusted… but I would love to see the sun again."

Severus emerged from the backroom, carrying a heavy book.  "Found it."

Martha took his money and wrapped the book in nondescript brown paper.  "Don't let your mother catch you with this," she ordered.

"Of course not."

Martha retreated back into the shadows as they left the shop.  They walked towards Diagon Alley, but Severus' steps slowed as they passed the Apothecary.

"Come on," he said, "I'll show you the best Apothecary in England."

Lily had been in the Apothecaries at Diagon Alley and Hogsmeade, but this was different.  Bins of mermaid scales stood in one corner, divided up by colour and means of detachment – naturally shedding or skinning.  Various deadly plants were stored on a shelf, below a row of things like hippogriff feathers, runespoor skins, and bones, some of which looked human.

Lily's stomach churned, but she couldn't tear her eyes away from the Dark ingredients.  She had to put her hands in her pockets to keep herself from running them through the shimmering mermaid scales.

"Lovely, isn't it?"  Severus put his arms around her and nibbled on her earlobe.  Lily's knees buckled, but she retained enough presence to say softly, "We shouldn't be here."

"Who would stop us?"

"I would."

They turned, and Lily flinched under Professor Crowley's furious gaze.

"Professor," said Severus coolly.

Crowley's lips thinned and her eyes narrowed.  "Snape.  I imagine that this expedition was your idea."

"Yes, ma'am."

"You're a—"

"Adelaide?  What's wrong?"

Crowley stiffened at the approach of a handsome, grey-haired man with bright, piercing green eyes.  He took her by the arm and regarded Severus and Lily.

"Are these students of yours?"

"Yes.  Snape and Evans."  A flicker of recognition appeared in the man's eyes.  "Quiet little troublemakers."

"I can imagine.  This is hardly the place for two children… especially a Muggle-born."  He glared at Lily, who met his gaze without flinching.  "I wish you joy of your principles, witch," he said.  "May they be a comfort to you in your old age."

"Jerome!" Crowley said sharply, but she stopped as he turned to look at her.  More quietly, she said, "I need to escort these two back to Diagon Alley.  I'll return momentarily."

They followed her in silence.  Crowley didn't slow down or speak until they stood outside Flourish and Blotts, where she rounded on them furiously.

"You," she said, "are the most pathetically stupid – Severus, I cannot imagine what came over you.  Have you lost your wits, dragging a Muggle-born Gryffindor prefect down Knockturn Alley?  Did you give no thought to the potential consequences?"

"Nothing happened.  No one encountered us." Severus looked furious and sulky.

"I encountered you.  I wouldn't expect common sense from a girl who associates with Potter and Black, but you -- have five years in Slytherin House taught you nothing, or did you think that discretion was somehow unimportant outside of Hogwarts?  You, of all people, should be able to identify the uses of a Muggle-born witch in the Dark Arts."  Severus said nothing.  "Well?"

"The blood can be used in potions.  A yew wand dipped in the blood of a Muggle-born will perform certain curses more effectively.  Skin, hair and major organs can all be used—"

"And you thought you'd just lead a Mudblood down Knockturn Alley."

"There are just as many uses for a Pureblood," said Lily.

Crowley smiled unpleasantly.  "No one cares about the Muggle-born, Evans.  If you disappeared, the Ministry wouldn't even bother to notify your parents."

"That can't possibly be true!"

"Would you care to try and find out?"

"No," Lily admitted.

Crowley turned back to Severus.  "I think you'll agree that I'm far more tolerant of your interests than anyone else at Hogwarts.  Several times, I've defended you from Spawforth and McGonagall, because I trust you not to use your knowledge."  Crowley walked away.  "Don't disappoint me, Severus," she said.

Severus scowled, but Crowley was already gone.

"Is that true?" Lily demanded, "would they really do nothing if I disappeared?"

"Why do you think I'd know?"

"I was just wondering."

"I know."  He shook his head.  "I'm just a little … I hadn't thought that you'd be in danger."

"We weren't in danger."  Except possibly from Crowley's enigmatic husband, Lily thought, but he had done nothing to threaten them … he had simply regarded her coolly, and quietly taunted her.

"I didn't think."

The tightness in Lily's chest eased, and she hugged him.  "It's all right," she said, putting the fearsome, oddly compelling experience out of her mind.

***

Petunia was predictably outraged at the idea of having Severus at a family barbecue, but Lily's mother was adamant.  Petunia was to attend, whether she wanted to or not.  Vernon's presence was optional, but Petunia insisted.  Lily wondered if she was planning to hide behind him if Severus tried anything magical.

On Saturday morning, Lily helped her father set up the table in the backyard.  They got along quite well, but had never been especially close: her father was aloof and, although he seemed to like her, he was not a demonstrative man.

"It's a pity you can't do magic to do this," Mr Evans said, wiping the sweat from his brow.  "We should have gotten your mate James over – haven't seen much of him the last few days, have we?"

"He and Sirius are visiting Peter," Lily said.  "Then they're going to Remus' house."

"Ah.  Give Sirius' poor mum a rest, then.  Nice boys, but awfully energetic.  Hand me that cloth, will you?"  Lily helped her dad lay the blue tablecloth over the wooden picnic table, and then bounced upstairs to change.

Her father drove her into the city to meet Severus, dropping her off at Diagon Alley and promising to return in two hours.

"What will you do?" Lily asked.

"Buy Mum's birthday present."  He gave her a pointed look.  "What are you planning to give her?"

"That's a very good question.  A small pink elephant, perhaps?"

"Or perhaps not.  Give it some thought this afternoon, okay?"

"Yes, Daddy."

Naturally, Severus was in Flourish and Blotts, glaring at a shelf of forbidding-looking tomes.

"Find anything good?" Lily asked.

"No."

He didn't look particularly offended by this, so Lily guessed that he was still busy with 'A History of the Dark Order'.  She enlisted his help in choosing a present for her mother.  After some debate about the relative merits of wizarding and magical literature, he directed her to buy 'Transfiguring Medusa', said to be the best magical novel of the last century.

""Will your sister and her lover be at this family gathering?" he asked as they left the bookshop.

"Oh, God," Lily groaned.  "Yes."  She shuddered to think how close they'd come to betraying the international pact of magical secrecy…

"And your parents think that he doesn't know what we are."

"You're going to have to pretend to be a Muggle."  She shook her head ruefully.  "I'm glad one of us thought of it."

"A performance for the benefit of your parents, who know the truth, and for Dursley, who will pretend ignorance…"Severus looked amused rather than daunted.  "All in the spirit of Slytherin House, I suppose."

Lily raised her eyebrows.  "A pureblood wizard pretending to be a Muggle in order to court a Muggle-born?  Old Salazar would turn in his grave."

"Well, I wasn't planning to ask his permission."

Lily tried to imagine Severus in the Muggle world, and failed.  James and Sirius could move between worlds, if they were careful, but Severus was too austere and reserved, too much a pureblood Slytherin.  She wondered if there were boys like him in Muggle schools, but she couldn't see how: he was too much a product of his House. Removing him from the magical world would be like a Dementor's Kiss, sucking out the soul and leaving only a husk.

He was giving her an odd look, and Lily realised that she'd been staring.

"You don't believe I can do it," he said.

"I didn't say that."

"You didn't need to.  You're an open book to me, Evans."  He sounded almost playful, inasmuch as such a word could be applied to Severus Snape.

"Really?  Most people find me pretty hard to read."

He shook his head.  "I understand you."

"You're the only one."

Severus took her hand and examined it.  "I'll need Muggle clothes," he said.

"I suppose we could go out into London, if we make sure we get back before my father – we could change your money at Gringotts and—"

He shook his head.  "No need."

"Oh?"

Severus stood up, still clutching her hand.  "Come with me."

He led her down Diagon Alley, further than she'd been before.  They turned a corner, and Lily found herself standing between a lamppost and an old-fashioned street sign that read, Iron Nick Alley.

It was straighter than Diagon Alley, and less crowded.  There were a number of flats and townhouses, and smaller shops with homes set over them.  It had the air of a slightly illicit marketplace, for there were almost more street-stalls than permanent shops.  There was a faint aura of decay about the place, for many of the buildings were run-down, and most of the businesses sold second-hand goods.  At least one store specialised in magical charms for adults: aphrodisiacs, charms, illusions and love potions.

There were also Muggle items for sale: charmed television sets and radios, jewellery made from what looked like small car-parts, and Muggle books.

"Oh, look at this!"  Lily held up a necklace, a silver chain and a green pendant.  The pendant was marked with tiny gold and silver lines and small silver studs.  The word Intel was engraved on it in impossibly tiny letters.  "What's it made of?"

The witch behind the counter giggled,  "Bit after your time, love," she said.  Despite her terrifying appearance – bleached hair and rings through her nose, eyebrow and – good God, her tongue? – she sounded quite friendly.  "Rules, you know.  Can't let you buy that one.  Stuff like that starts circulating in the wrong time, and the Ministry'd find me for sure."

They moved on slowly.  Lily was entranced by the bustle and colour, so different from Knockturn, or even Diagon Alley.  Not everything here was completely legal, but the transactions were made with an air of rebellion and a sense of fun.  It was a complete contrast to the dingy guilt of Knockturn Alley.

At the end of Iron Nick Alley, they found a small, cramped store.  MUGGLE COSTUME EMPORIUM, read the fading sign, although Lily privately thought that this was a rather grand name for a very shabby shop.

"How'd you know this was here?" she asked Severus.

"I told you, I spend a lot of time around the Alleyways in summer."

Inside was the most amazing array of Muggle clothing that Lily had ever seen.  There were piles of generic, everyday clothing: slacks, jeans, suits and collared shirts.  But there were also corseted Dior dresses, beaded evening gowns and a lovely blue and white frock from the 'twenties.

"This is amazing," Lily breathed.  Severus caught her waist and pulled her against him.

"You're really that impressed?"

"Oh yes.  It's like a magnificent dress-up box.  I've never seen some of these clothes outside of photos."

He smiled slightly.  "I like it when you're impressed."  He kissed her, and Lily's legs turned to jelly, and she would have been quite happy to continue kissing him all day, if a voice hadn't interrupted them with an amused, "Can I help you?"

"Oh," said Lily. The shopkeeper, a good-looking young black man with an Afro so large that it just had to be maintained by magic, laughed.

"Sorry to interrupt you," he said, "and if it were up to me, you could move into the change-rooms and snog to your hearts' content.  But I have a business to run, y'see."

"Er, right," said Lily, while Snape's thumbs grazed her waist and ended all attempts at coherent thought.  "Um – we were after – stop that! – Muggle clothes – that is—"  She summoned all of her strength and pushed Severus away.  He looked unrepentant.

"We need Muggle clothes," she said.

"Right.  And I'm guessing it's for your talkative friend, since you're kitted out already."  The salesman's eyes flicked over Severus' robes, which looked to Lily like a priest's cassock.  "Slytherin?"

"Right."

"And dating a Muggle-born."  He whistled.  "Wouldn't want to be in your shoes, mate.  I'm Danny, by the way."

They introduced themselves, and Danny began rifling through piles and racks.  "I'm thinking something casual, yeah?  Not too square, not too out there… How'd you two get together?  'Cos it's been a few years since I was at school, but last time I checked, Slytherin wasn't the most sociable of houses"

"We had a project together," said Severus.

"All is revealed.  Will you wear blue?"

"Do I have a choice?"

"We can charm these black."

He threw a pair of jeans at Severus.  "And a t-shirt, I think.  Keep it simple.  Red?  You'd look good in red…"

"Black," Severus said repressively.

"Charming."

Lily, investigating a gorgeous beaded evening gown, asked, "How'd you end up running a shop like this?  You're a Muggle-born, right?"

"'Course I am.  You think a wizard would appreciate hair like this?"  Severus muttered something under his breath.  "See?" Danny added.  "As for the store," he continued, "when I left school, I figured I should do something that I loved."

"Selling clothes?"

"Why not?  Beats hanging over a cauldron and brewing potions all day.  I didn't want to ditch the Muggle world all together.  I'd have liked to open this place in Diagon Alley, but that's a bit pricey.   Plus, it's not exactly a safe time to be proclaiming your love for Muggles all over the place."

"Is that a problem for you?" asked Lily.

"I get a couple of Howlers every month.  The occasional rock through the window.  Just the usual sort of vandalism you get around here."

Severus said nothing as he stared straight ahead.  Danny nodded at him and said, "You'll probably be finding out about that yourself, if this keeps up."

Severus scowled, but didn't deny it.

Danny added a Cooling Charm to the Muggle clothes, since it was an unusually hot summer, and turned his attention to the young family who had just entered the store.

"I liked him," Lily said as they returned to Diagon Alley.

"He spoke too much."

Lily rolled her eyes and laughed, wrapping her arms around his waist and pulling him closer.  They made their way to the Leaky Cauldron and found a secluded table, tucked away in an odd corner.

"Severus," said Lily, "is it true that the Sorting Hat won't put the Muggle-born in Slytherin?"

"Quite true, yes.  Salazar Slytherin returned to the castle shortly after Godric Gryffindor died, and enchanted the Sorting Hat.  Rowena Ravenclaw had died a few years earlier, and Helga Hufflepuff certainly couldn't hold Salazar back.  So there were no more Slytherin Muggle-borns."

Lily considered this; it was an uncomfortable thought with disturbing implications.

"I wonder," she said, "how many Muggle-borns ended up in other houses, simply because they couldn't go into Slytherin."

"Quite a few, I imagine."  Severus kissed her fingers.  "Personally, I think you'd look lovely in green and silver."

"Huh."

"I have a few questions of my own," Severus added.  "About the Muggle-world, and about what I should tell Dursley."

"Oh, right.  Well, Vernon has been told that we go to an experimental school for gifted students.  James thought it was funny to tell him that we go to St Brutus' Academy for Criminally Insane Geniuses, but even Vernon knows that was a joke.  Well, probably.  You don't look very athletic, so Vernon will be horribly rude to you, but just tell him that you don't follow sports if he tries to talk about football or cricket."

They spent the rest of their time going over various things.  Severus seemed reluctant to reveal his ignorance of the Muggle world.  Lily remembered what it had been like going to Hogwarts for the first time, asking a million questions about things that seemed perfectly obvious to everyone else.  Most people had found it annoying; only the Reynolds twins, and sometimes Peter or Remus, had bothered to explain the magical world.  James and Sirius had been too intimidating in their boisterousness for Lily to pester them with questions, although in retrospect, they would have been the best people to ask.

"Don't worry," she said softly as they stood out on Charing Cross Road, waiting for her father. "You'll do fine."

Severus nodded, the determination in his eyes compensating for his vulnerability in the unaccustomed Muggle clothing.  He looked fairly normal, she supposed; it was only his terrifying thinness that would attract a second glance.

Lily's father gave him a critical look as they climbed into the backseat.  He leaned over to shake Severus' hand.

"I'm Joseph Evans," he said.  "Pleased to meet you, Severus … Lily's been rather quiet about your existence, I'm afraid."

"Daddy…" Lily began, but her father chuckled.

"Just teasing, pumpkin."  More seriously he added, "now, Severus, we actually made a slight miscalculation where this barbecue was concerned.  Lily's future brother-in-law – we think – will be there—"

"I know," said Severus, "Lily explained it to me.  He doesn't know I'm a wizard."

"Exactly.  Lily, have you explained what we've told Vernon?"

"Yes.  Including James' embellishments."

"Oh, good.  Do you know James and Sirius, Severus?  You'd be at school with them…"

"We're not friends."

"Ah, what a shame.  They seem like nice boys."  Lily could see her father's disapproval; he was very fond of James and Sirius, and clearly, Severus was profoundly disappointing by comparison.

"Most people think so, yes," said Severus.  Lily found his hand and squeezed it.  He betrayed no overt nervousness in the unfamiliar vehicle, but his eyes glittered slightly.

"Vernon's car's not in," noted Mr Evans with satisfaction as they drew up to the house.  "We can give you the grand tour without inhibition, Severus."

Snape allowed himself to be shown around the house.  He was clearly desperately curious, but unwilling to admit it.

In the kitchen, Mrs Evans greeted them with a harried, though warm, smile.

"It's good to meet you properly, Severus," she said, ignoring his proffered hand and giving him a hug, much to his evident dismay.  "I'm afraid I wasn't very comfortable in Diagon Alley, being the only Muggle … is that a common problem, do you think?"

"I'm not certain," said Severus, "although I've received something of an education lately in the perils of being a Muggle-born."

"You didn't get into any trouble, did you, Lily?" asked her father.

"We just ran into a teacher the other day," Lily said.  "She doesn't like me very much."

"That's rather unfortunate," said Mrs Evans.  "Severus, if I make a salad, will you eat it?  I'm quite bad at judging quantities for meals, and Vernon doesn't seem to eat vegetable matter."

"Real men don't eat lettuce," Lily explained.

Severus raised his eyebrows.  "I have no objection to salad.  But I won't eat capsicum."

"Good man," said Lily's father, looking at Severus with wholehearted approval for the first time.  Lily's mother rolled her eyes, but smiled.

"What do your parents do?" she asked.

"My mother is a Ministry researcher.  My father…" Severus frowned, "is no longer with us."

Lily's mother patted his hand, and Lily could almost see her father thinking, 'Well, that explains it, no masculine influence…'

"Play any sports, Severus?"  Mr Evans asked.

"I'm the Keeper on the Slytherin Quidditch team."

"Ah, yes.  James and Sirius have explained Quidditch."

"At great length," Mrs Evans muttered.

"Slytherin," Mr Evans mused, "that'd be the team that had the last minute change in line-up, wouldn't it?"

"Yes," said Severus shortly.  "An older player thought it would be – amusing – to take my position at the last minute."

Mr Evans nodded, obviously remembering James' take on the subject: "The Slytherin Keeper – greasy git, nasty sort – got shoved out of his place…"

"It was a horrible game," Lily said, taking Severus' hands.  "At least Wilson has moved on, now.  By the way, who's the new captain?"

"Farrison.  He's an idiot in most respects, but he's a good tactician."  He smiled slightly.  "You'll have to watch out – he has some nasty ideas about Seekers and Bludgers."

"Yeah, they always do."

Lily's mother frowned.  "Is Quidditch very dangerous, Severus?  I worry about Lily, sometimes."

"Quite dangerous," said Snape, ignoring Lily's poke in the ribs, "but witches and wizards are harder to injure than Muggles."

"Excellent.  I'll get Lily to retile the roof next week, then."

"Dad!"

"Joking, pumpkin."

Vernon and Petunia arrived shortly before dinner was served.  Petunia took one look at Severus and dragged Lily into a quiet corner.

"You have got to be mad," she hissed, "if you think that Vernon and I will associate with that – creature—"

"What makes you think that Severus and I would want to associate with you?" Lily demanded.  "You're rude, ignorant and bigoted, the pair of you.  You've been acting like a child since I got home, and I know perfectly well that you hate me.  I know that you told Vernon about Hogwarts, too. This whole farce of Severus pretending to be a Muggle is purely for Mum and Dad's benefit."

Despite the heat, Petunia looked a little pale.  "You won't tell them that I told him, will you?"

"No," said Lily.  "Nor will I tell them that Vernon almost broke James' ribs.  But in return, you're going to treat Severus and I with respect."

"I don't have to do anything you say," said Petunia.  "Why should I pretend to approve of your sort?"

"For the same reason I pretend to approve of yours," Lily said grimly.  "Because we're family."

Lily turned and walked away, but the exhilaration of finally standing up to Petunia was already wearing off.  Petunia was horribly stubborn, and she had looked sulky and defiant as Lily walked away.

They would never be friends, Lily realised sadly.  They'd leave home and go their separate ways, and they'd only ever see each other when their parents demanded it.

Severus appeared at her side.  "Are you all right?" he asked.

"Fine.  I just wish – oh, it's so hard, having siblings!"

"I understand."

"How are you getting on?"

"Not bad.  Your father is rather interesting – he's been telling me about Muggle sciences like 'chemistry' and how they're taught in schools.  Dursley wanted to challenge me to a game of 'cricket', but your father said it was too hot."

"As if Vernon was a cricket player, anyway," scoffed Lily.  "He's a wrestler, or a rugby player."

"He's a great, ugly lump."

"You know, I think James used exactly the same words," said Lily innocently, and giggled at his outraged glare.

Over dinner, eaten outdoors in the back garden, Lily's mother asked, "Where does your family live, Severus?"

"Devonshire, on the edge of Dartmoor."

"Long way to travel," grunted Vernon.

"Travel is not really a bother," said Severus.  "I spend a lot of time in London over the summer.  The house gets very empty with my mother working."  With a challenging look at Petunia and Vernon, he added, "and the ghosts aren't very good company."

Petunia dropped her fork.  Severus smirked.

"It's an old house, then?"

"Very.  It's been in the family for generations – my mother's family, that is.  It's ridiculously large for two people, though – Mother and I only use one wing, and even then, there's more space than we need."  He glanced at Lily.  "Perhaps you could stay for a couple of weeks next month.  We have room, and I'd welcome the company."

Lily's mother looked torn between the desire to give Severus the company he wanted, and hesitation at allowing her younger daughter to stay at her boyfriend's house.

"I'll consider it," she said.

"Oh, let her go, Mum," said Petunia.  "It would be nice to have the house for the grownups again."

"Lily's already gone for nine months of the year," their father pointed out.

Lily noticed that Vernon did not share Petunia's eagerness to be rid of Lily; he glared at Severus suspiciously, but said nothing.

Dinner passed without incident, but after dessert, Lily's father insisted on bringing the out the camera.  Severus, unsurprisingly, hated being photographed, but Mr Evans managed to capture him on film.

"You won't let anyone from school see those, will you?" he asked.  They had escaped from Lily's parents and made a nest for themselves on the couch.

"No one will ever know."

"Good."  Lily leaned against him and listened to his heartbeat, and the rumbling in his chest as he spoke.  "Muggle photos are interesting, though."

"How?  They don't move."

"Exactly."  He pointed at the wall of photos opposite.  "They don't move, or pull faces … they have no lives of their own.  They just hold a moment."

"Have I shown you this?" Lily pulled her locket over her head and opened it.

"Is this your grandfather?"

"Yeah."

"He doesn’t look like you, does he?  He has cold eyes…"

"I know.  My mum didn't get on with him, either."

"Why don't you throw it away?"

"I don't know.  He's family, I guess, and you can't just toss that away.  You have to hang on, until the end."

"Or until it becomes unbearable."

"That's an ending, of sorts."

"But they're still alive.  You could go back, if you chose.  A permanent separation is an ending, I suppose, or death.  But you can't just decide to walk away.  There's unfinished business."

"Nothing's permanent.  People could change their minds, or forgive … Petunia and I might be the best of friends when we're older."

"Perhaps."  Severus sounded sceptical.  "I think … no."  He shook his head.  "Will you come and visit me, if your mother gives permission?"

"Of course."

"I'd like you to see my home."

"You don't sound completely certain."

"I'm not.  I'm quite ambivalent about it … my friends from Slytherin have visited, but it would be different showing it to you."  Severus kissed her temple.  "My family's a little strange."

"As bad as Petunia and Vernon?"

"Worse."

"Oh.  Dear."

Late in the evening, Lily's father prepared to drive Severus back into London, where he would use the Floo network to return home.  Lily made a mental note to find out if he knew how to make a Portkey, although she suspected that her mother would disapprove of giving him unrestricted access to the house.

Mr Evans was still inside, and Lily was waiting in the car, when Vernon emerged from the house and joined Severus, who was idly contemplating a telephone pole.

"Snape."

"Dursley."

Their voices were cold, and Lily, who'd been on the verge of speaking to Vernon, retreated into the shadows.  Severus was regarding Vernon with a look that he usually reserved for James.

Vernon spoke softly, with a rapidity that betrayed his nervousness.  "I hope you don't think that you can worm your slimy way into the Evans family.  They're good, normal people who've been saddled with a nasty trollop of a daughter, and people like you have no place associating with a family like theirs."

"Poor Muggle," Severus said, "so wrapped up in his petty life to realise that a witch like Lily is a gift. What's the matter?  Don't like the word 'witch'?  Or hasn't Petunia used it before – what has she called us?  Freaks? Maniacs?"

More quickly than Lily would have believed possible, Vernon had pressed Severus up against the telephone pole, pinning his arms behind his back.

"Nasty brat," Vernon grunted, while Severus squirmed.  "You and your slut of a girlfriend – argh!"  Vernon pulled away, clutching his right hand with a look of terror on his face.  Severus turned, pulling his wand out of the small, invisible pocket he'd charmed onto his arm earlier.

"A tip for the future, Dursley," he said, "if you're going to attack a wizard, the first order of business is to make sure he can't reach his wand."

Dursley whimpered, flexing and scratching his hand.  "What the hell have you done?"

"It's nothing, Dursley.  The insects are illusions."

"My hand—"

"It'll wear off in a couple of days.  Provided that I've done the spell properly, anyway."

Lily's father emerged from the house.  Vernon quickly tucked the afflicted hand under his arm.

"Ready to go, Severus?"

"Quite."

On the way back to London, while Lily's father was putting petrol in the car, Severus said softly, "I never believed it before.  That Muggles would really destroy us, if they had the chance."

"They're not all like Vernon," said Lily.  Severus rubbed his arm, which was swelling and turning purple.  He looked out at the people around them, a family with sleepy children, and a group of aggressive young punks who'd obviously been drinking.

"Would you bet your life on that?" he asked.

***

'What amazes me,' said Nancy's letter, a little over a week later, 'is the way your parents seem oblivious.  I mean, Snape hexed Vernon, and your father did nothing.  I've heard that Muggles tend to repress everything magical that they see – do you think this might be that kind of thing?  I've always thought that it wouldn't happen if they knew about us, but perhaps it's automatic – like having a built-in Obliviator.

'My life is rather uneventful.  I've been working on wedding plans and getting to know Frank's family.  His father and uncle are Aurors – Albert is a lovely man, but Uncle Algie is a bit scary – he has some pretty awful ideas about the treatment of Squibs.  His mother is lovely, in a terrifying way.  I think she approves of me, though.  At least, she patted me on the hand and told me that I'd suffice.

'So that's my life, post-Hogwarts.  My job is quite dull – I think it'll get better after time, but right now I'm just a junior clerk.

'Unlike you, I certainly haven't gotten caught sneaking around Knockturn Alley.  Really, what were you thinking?

'Whatever Snape's been telling you, Lily, you can't just dabble in the Dark Arts.  It's not like that – it's not an intellectual pursuit.  Not for long.  And I'm worried about the way you were drawn to the Darker potions.  Have you considered the possibility that you're naturally predisposed to the Dark Arts?  Some people are, you know, although they usually go into Slytherin.

'I think you're a good person, Lily, but I'm worried about you.  Please be careful when you visit his home.  I understand why your mother didn't want you to – I can't believe you talked her into it…'

Lily scowled, crunched Nancy's letter into a ball and threw it into her wastepaper basket.

***

Snape's home was cold and large.  Stepping out of the fireplace, Lily noticed that her footsteps echoed on the stone floors.  She was in a large kitchen, the sort that would normally hold a dozen house elves.  It was mostly empty, although there were signs of recent use: half a loaf of bread and a crock of butter on a bench, and a cauldron sitting beside a sink.

There was a whooshing sound, and Severus appeared in the fireplace behind her.  To Lily's amusement, he had been wearing his Muggle clothes when he met her in Diagon Alley, mostly concealed beneath a black cloak.  At her look, he'd muttered something about ease of movement and changed the subject.  Lily hadn't pursued the matter, for his skin was sallow, and he looked stressed and unwell.

"Come on," he said, taking her hand, "I'll show you around."

The rest of the house was as cold and disused as the kitchens.  The east wing was closed off all together; Lily caught a glimpse of covered furniture before Severus led her down to the small courtyard set between the two wings.  The fountain was cracked, and a cherub waved a broken waterspout at Severus as he passed, but the garden was well tended.

Severus and his mother mostly occupied the first floor of the west wing.  Here, books covered nearly every surface, and the couches were worn, but comfortable.

There were ghosts everywhere: a small, curly-haired boy who wandered the halls looking lost, a young woman whose good looks were almost obscured by her hideous burns, an old woman who cried in a corner.

Lily was examining a dusty bookshelf, when the temperature dropped even further, and she began shivering violently.  Severus scowled.

"Isaac," he said, "either show yourself or leave."

The temperature rose a fraction, and Lily relaxed slightly.

"Another ghost?" she asked.

"One of the worst."  He looked at her.  "You're shivering – come on, I'll get you a jumper."  He led her into a corridor and opened the door to a large, well-lit room with a four-poster bed, and yet more books.

"Your room?"

"Of course."  Severus rifled through a wardrobe, found nothing, and moved to a trunk.  As he crouched, his shirt lifted slightly.

"Severus," said Lily, appalled, "are those bruises?"

"Oh, those."  Severus' voice was light, but he quickly concealed the enormous, yellowing bruises.  Lily caught a glimpse of a handprint over his right hip before it was covered.  "I found myself tussling with Rosier – not entirely by choice – at Malfoy Manor.  I took a Numbing Potion and forgot about it."

"But you got back a week ago!"

"It was just before we left."  Severus unearthed a green and silver Quidditch jersey.  "This should keep you warm."  As Lily put it on, he said, "so, what are Potter and his little friends up to?"

"Oh, the usual.  Back from Peter's for a couple of days, and then off again.  And don't change the subject – are you all right?"

"I'm fine."

Lily sat down on his bed.  "I just – you look awful," he said.  "Pale and a bit haggard."

"I didn't get much sleep at Malfoy's."

"Did you meet that author Malfoy was talking about?  How did it go?"

"Karkaroff?  He was a profound disappointment."

"I'm sorry to hear that."

Severus sat beside her and pushed her hair out of the way to kiss her neck.

"So was I," he murmured.  A detached part of Lily's mind noted that this time, he'd managed to distract her with far more subtlety than before, but she was in no condition to complain.

***

Severus surprised her by cooking dinner himself, down in the echoing kitchens.

"We used to have house elves," he explained, "back when Father was with us.  But … do you understand the symbiosis between an elf and its house?"  Lily shook her head.  "The elves serve their human masters, but they draw their strength from the well-being of the house."  Softly, he added, "we couldn't afford to pay the Squibs … the Office for House Elf Relocation took the elves."

"Why don't you just get a smaller house?" Lily asked.

"I'm going to burn it down when I inherit.  Burn it to the ground, exorcise the ghosts and build something new."

The lights flickered ominously, and a cool, feminine voice said, "A charming notion, Severus.  I can see that my death will herald a glorious new era for the family."  The woman pushed back the hood on her travelling cloak, revealing features similar to her son's.  She regarded Lily dispassionately.  "Who's your friend?"

Madam Aurelia Snape received Lily's name with a cynical twitch of her thin lips.  She might have been attractive, but for the prominent nose which made her features merely forceful.  She had Severus' dark hair and eyes, but there was a Mediterranean cast to her skin.

"Well," she murmured, "you certainly seem less evil than my son's other friends.  What house are you in?"

"Gryffindor."

"I should have guessed."  She turned on her heel and left.

Over dinner, Madam Snape said to her son, "Nathan Pascal will be joining us for dinner next week.  I'd appreciate it if you didn't try to poison him this time."

Severus scowled at his plate.  "If he were competent, he'd recognise a simple Tremens Potion."

"Perhaps he wasn't expecting to be used as a test subject over dinner."

"Perhaps he's just an idiot."  Severus pushed his food around his plate.  "I'll go to Aunt Lucilla's."

"You will do no such thing.  I've forbidden you to associate with her."

"She's Father's sister."

"Precisely."

"You've always hated her, haven't you?  What has she ever done to you?"

"The question you should ask, Severus, is what would she do to someone like your girlfriend there."

Severus stiffened.  "Aunt Lucilla's not a Death Eater."

"Of course not, that would involve relinquishing some of her power to someone else."  Madam Snape looked at Lily.  "I'd keep away from the Snape family, Lily.  If you have any common sense – which, frankly, I doubt – you'll go straight home and never speak to my son again."

"Ignore her," said Severus quickly.  Turning to his mother, he said, "I'll have dinner with Pascal.  But I won't pretend to enjoy his company."

"He'll be a valuable contact when you're seeking employment, Severus.  Your Slytherin mind should be able to comprehend that."

"He's incompetent," Snape said.  "You should head the department – you're more skilled."

"I've no head for administration.  One day, you'll have to learn that some skills exist outside of a cauldron."

"Is that why you're marrying him, then?  To have the privilege of an administrator without the duties?"

The lights flickered, and the temperature dropped.

"This isn't the time, Isaac," Madam Snape said.

The room became even colder, and Lily saw an indistinct shape forming by the doorway.

"You know he won't listen to you," Severus said.  The anger in his voice had been replaced by pain, echoed in his mother's eyes.

"Then you deal with it.  He's your—"

"Isaac."  Severus' voice was firmer now, and furious.  "Show yourself."

"I'm right here."

The figure by the doorway became more distinct.  It floated towards the dinner table, a small boy whose dark eyes were alight with malicious glee at the pain he was causing Severus and his mother.

"Who is he…?" Lily asked softly.

"Hasn't he mentioned me at all?" demanded the ghost.

"Fine," Severus snapped.  "Lily.  This is Isaac Snape. My late twin brother."

The words echoed in Lily's mind: My late twin brother…

She had assumed that the unseen, menacing Isaac was Severus’ father, but this was much, much worse.  To live with the ghost of a twin … or a son, she amended, looking at Madam Snape’s haunted eyes…

No wonder he’s so Dark, she thought, no wonder he hates his home.

The boy could be no more than eight or nine, although his eyes seemed far older.  As he floated towards her, Lily saw a gash on his throat, severing veins and arteries, although no blood escaped from the wound.

His throat was cut and his blood was drained.

She remembered her words to Crowley: "There are a lot of uses for purebloods, too."

“You’re staring,” said Isaac.  “He hasn’t told you about me at all, has he?”

Severus looked away.

“He hates me, you know,” said Isaac.  “Because I’m dead, and he’s alive…”

Lily suspected that it was truly the other way around: that Isaac hated Severus.  There was such malice in his eyes that she couldn’t bear to look at him; he was like a perversion of a child.

“Severus,” whispered his mother, “make him leave.”

“She hates me, too,” said the ghost, “because she couldn’t save me.”

“That’s not true,” whispered Madam Snape, “I would have … if I’d known… I tried.  I don’t hate you, Isaac, you know that…”

“I don’t believe you,” said the child.

“I do,” said Severus, “she always loved you best.”

“Yes, but now she hates us all equally.”

“Leave us,” ordered Severus, drawing his wand.  Isaac ducked behind Lily, who was overcome by cold, and a creeping sensation that seemed to paralyse her from the neck down.

Lily had thought that Severus would help her, but he threw his chair back, said, “Fine.  I’ll leave,” and stormed off.  Isaac followed, and Lily relaxed a little.

“The problem with Severus,” said Madam Snape distantly, “is that he never does what is necessary.  Not if it means some loss to him.  The only reliable thing about him is his cowardice.”

“That’s not true,” Lily said.

“No?  Wait until you know him as well as I.”  Madam Snape began clearing the table; after a moment, Lily joined her.

They washed the dishes in silence, without magic.  Lily felt like Madam Snape was constantly on the verge of speech.

When they were done, Madam Snape said, “Severus has a laboratory on the second floor, at the top of the western staircase.”

“Thanks,” said Lily, and she made her way upstairs.

The laboratory had clearly been created by knocking down the adjoining walls between a row of bedrooms.  With its large windows, it stood in stark contrast to the damp, unventilated dungeons.  Lily paused a minute in the doorway, admiring the room.  Severus and Isaac’s voices floated over from the other side.

“…Embarrassed me,” Severus was saying, “you don’t do those things with my friends – why her?”

“Well, she’s different, isn’t she?  She’s your lover.”

“We—“

“I saw you this afternoon,” said Isaac, a note of accusation in his voice, “your hands were all over her – you look at her differently.  You love her better than you love me.”

Isaac was floating high enough that Severus had to look up to meet his eyes.  In profile, the resemblance between them was clear: they had been identical, once.

“You’re dead,” Severus said finally.  “I can’t be with you forever.  I have to grow up.”

“You don’t have to,” said Isaac.  “There are all sorts of ways you could stop…”

“I can’t—“

“Only because you’re afraid.”

“I’m not going to kill myself.  Not for you.”  There was loathing in Severus’ voice, but Lily couldn’t tell which twin was the object.

“Please?” said Isaac, and now he was just an eight–year-old boy, pleading for his playmate to come back.  “We could have so much fun … like we used to, when we were brothers.”

“Things change.”

“I don’t.”

“I know.  You’re dead.”

“It’s that girl, isn’t it?”  Isaac scowled.  “She’s keeping you here – she’s changing you.  I hate her.”

“I don’t.”

“You should.  She’s not like us.”

“She’s alive.  It’s enough.”

“Do you love her?”

Lily held her breath, but Severus didn’t answer.  Instead, he looked over at her and said coldly, “I know my mother sent you.  I don’t want you here.”

“Severus—“

“OUT!”  Lily flinched; he normally became colder in anger, instead of exploding.

Unless that was just another mask.

His hair fell into his eyes, but Lily could that they were suspiciously bright.  If she stayed with him now, when he was vulnerable, when he felt humiliated, he'd probably never trust her again.

She left without another word, passing Madam Snape on the stairs.  The older woman’s face was set, as if she were going to confront a Basilisk in its lair, willing herself to stone for camouflage.

Lily returned to the book-lined sitting room.  There was a piano in one corner, covered in dust.  She settled down with a fascinating, challenging book on the development of the Dementors, the creation of a whole new Dark species.  The sixteenth century English was dense and complicated, and she was about to cast around for a Translation Charm when Madam Snape returned, handing Lily a small vial containing a brilliant green liquid.

“He’ll probably want to sleep with you tonight,” Madam Snape said, “if he doesn’t kill himself.”

“Why would he kill himself now, when he’s lived with this for years?”

“I can live in hope.  But you’re right: Severus will probably embrace life, not death.  If you let him.”

Lily contemplated that, turning the bottle over in her hand.  “Is this a Contraceptus Potion, then?”

“Yes.  I think you’ll understand why I hope that Severus will be the last of his line.”

“No.  I don’t, actually.”

Madam Snape snorted.  “I think you would, if you could bear to leave your respectable Gryffindor shell long enough to consider my position.”

“You hate your sons.”

“I knew you’d figure it out.”

Madam Snape turned to leave, but Lily stood up with a breathless fury.

“How can you just stand there like that?  Why do you hate Severus, when he’s all that’s left of your family?  And for that matter, why love him less than Isaac?  Isaac’s a nasty little brat who has fun enticing his brother to suicide!  How can you call Severus a coward, when you can’t deal with Isaac yourself?  Why don’t you behave like a normal person and leave this dump, or burn it down like Severus wants to?”

Madam Snape was very pale; she advanced, looking as though she wanted to strike – or hex – Lily.  She shoved her hands into the pockets of her robes, and said tightly, “Severus is his father’s son in every respect but two: he lacks charm and beauty.  And for that, I am more grateful than I can say.  Whatever crimes he commits, Severus will be a follower; he will always lack the charisma to lead others down his path.”  She sneered at Lily and added, “with the obvious exception of those people stupid enough to love him, of course.”

“And Isaac?”

“Isaac was an innocent.  He never cared for the Dark Arts.  He was untouched, until he died.”

“He’s not like that anymore.”

“No.  Severus says that ghosts can’t change, but he’s wrong.  Sometimes, they become darker … they find knowledge that no mortal can possess.  Do you know the Bloody Baron?”

“Yes.  We spoke once.”

Madam Snape looked surprised at this.  “Severus would disagree, but the Baron is the worst ghost in Great Britain. I’d advise you to keep away from him.”

“I will.”

“Stay away from Severus, too.  He has embraced the Dark Arts since he was old enough to hold a wand; he was encouraged by his father and by his father’s friends.  I can’t control him anymore; he is entirely in the hands of people who can only teach through the cruellest of methods.  He’s learning to despise anyone who needs gentler techniques.  One day, he’ll despise gentleness all together, and then where will you be?”

“You don’t exactly provide an alternative role model.”

“No.  I don’t.”  Madam Snape reached out and gripped Lily’s arm tightly.  “I’m a scientist, Lily, but I’m also a Seer … sometimes.  It’s erratic and unreliable, but I can tell you this: if you value yourself, stay away from my son.”  She whispered, “you will never be able to save him, and in the end, you’ll be destroyed trying to save your children … and they’ll all be like him, except for the youngest, but one good woman won’t make up for the sins of her brothers and sisters.  Severus will love you to the extent of his capacity, but you’ll still love him more … whichever way you choose, you will destroy your family, and your children will be sacrifices for their grandfather.”

Madam Snape dropped Lily’s hand.  Lily stared at her, the vial warm against her skin.

“I don’t believe in Divination,” she said stupidly.

Madam Snape smiled thinly.  “Neither do I.  Unfortunately, Divination believes in me.”  She walked away, and this time, Lily didn’t try to stop her.  “You understand now why I’d prefer not to have grandchildren,” she called over her shoulder.  “That dose will be effective for a full six months.  Owl me if you want more.”

Lily watched her leave, reeling from the conversation and the prophecy.

I don’t believe in Divination.

…Your children will be sacrifices for their grandfather…

Her father loved her.  He was a gentle man who would never hurt another human, even one he truly disliked.

It occurred to Lily that no one had actually said that Severus’ father was dead.

The potion was warm and sickly-sweet, and roiled in her stomach for hours after she drank it.

***

Later that night, Lily was lying awake in the spare bedroom, when there was a knock at the door.

“Come in,” she called.  Severus hovered in the doorway.

“I didn’t kill myself,” he said.

“I can see that.”

He sat down on her bed, and she saw that his face was pale and strained.  He took her hand.

“Can I stay?” he asked.  “Please … I need you…”
 

to be continued

In chapter 14, lots of questions are answered, and then new ones arise, 'cos I'm a bit sadistic that way.  Lily discovers just how dysfunctional Snape’s family really is, and then learns a few things about her own.  The significance of the locket is revealed.  (At last!)  And Lily does something Very, Very Stupid, but not necessarily what you're thinking.
 

notes and credits

Eternal gratitude goes to Jerie and Sarah for their beta-work on this chapter.  Serious flaws were uncovered and (hopefully) fixed.  Thanks, guys.  Melina, get well soon.  That's an order.

chapter title from "That's When You Come To Me" by george.  Yay for Australian music, etc.

The microprocessor pendant: an essential part of every geek girl's wardrobe.  Also part of my handy 'out' for historical errors.  Nyah.

The pudgy naked chick in Knockturn Alley: can anyone say "Cheap Sandman crossover"?  Yeah, I knew you could.
 
 
 
 

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