Title: The Girls From YENTA
Summary: The Doctor, Rose and a love that was meant to be.
Rated: G
Notes: This is very silly.  And slight.  Very slight.  Title is from an episode of Get Smart.  No particular Torchwood or DW spoilers.  Just assume that, um, the Rift opened and Rose wandered through.  Yes.



The Girls From YENTA
by LizBee


"My mum reckons it's a thing.  Like, you're happy, so you want everyone else to be happy."  Rose finished her drink and signalled to the barman for another.  "Either that," she added, "or I'm going mad."

"Hormones," said Gwen.  "That's what Jack said."  She drink her beer at a more sedate pace.  "Then I hit him."

"Good."

"It's not a bad thing," said Martha.  She was halfway through her third glass of wine.  "I mean, if you don't go--"

"Silly," Rose finished.

"Not that we would," Gwen said.  "Go silly, I mean."

"No," said Rose.  "We're independent modern women."

"Right."

"With our own lives," added Martha.  "And careers, and interests, and much better things to do than -- than matchmake."  They clinked glasses in agreement.  "That was Emma's problem.  She needed a job."

"Emma?" Rose asked.

"Jane Austen," said Gwen.

"I hate Gwyneth Paltrow," said Rose, apropos of very little.  "She works for Torchwood, you know.  On my side of the void.  Can't stand her."

"I just think it's nice, seeing them get on," said Gwen, no longer paying attention to Rose and Martha.  "And he's good for her.  Look, she's laughing."

"I can hear that," said Rose.  "People on the moon can probably hear that."

"It's nice," said Martha.  "And she's smart, too.  Wouldn't let him push her around."

"And she'd have fun," said Gwen, "traveling around.  Learning ... stuff."

"You'd have to remember all the passwords in the Hub."

"Yeah."  Gwen's enthusiasm faded.  "That's ... not such a good thing."

"Oi, is this a private party, or what?"

"Donna!"  Martha pulled an empty chair over.  "I didn't know you were here."

"Been here for hours," said Donna, reaching for Rose's momentarily discarded drink.  "He only popped in for a quick pint with Jack.  That was six hours ago.  I think I've been hit on by every straight man in Cardiff."

"Oh, so you've met Owen?"

Donna finished Rose's drink and started on Gwen's.  "It's that girl," she said.  "He reckons no one's beaten him at pool since the Boer War.  I said, mate, face it, your record's busted, but he keeps going for best three out of four.  Or six out of ten.  Sad, really."

"But funny," said Rose.

"Oh yeah.  Laugh a minute.  And what's gonna happen when he runs off with Miss Brainiac and leaves me stuck in Cardiff?" 

"It's not that bad," Gwen started to say, but she was interrupted by Rose saying, "I have a better idea."

"You've got that look," said Martha.

"What look?"

"The one that says, I'm Rose Tyler and I have a hairbrained scheme to save the world," said Donna.  "Out with it."

"It's nothing," said Rose, looking as innocent as she could manage.  "Only -- the Doctor seems pretty keen on Tosh.  And they say, you know, the real test of a relationship is hardship.  And -- look, say you're young, and you're going out with an older guy, and you think you're going to settle down together, get a house and a mortgage and a -- a fence, and he doesn't want any of it but he never actually says so, so you end up feeling like an idiot ages later when you're old enough to look back and see how it really was?"

Donna, Martha and Gwen nodded.

"What you're saying is, we need to sabotage the TARDIS so the Doctor has to stay on Earth with Tosh," said Martha.

"'Sabotage' is an awfully strong word," said Gwen.

"Temporarily disable," said Donna.

"Break it," said Rose.  "Just a little bit."

As one, all four women looked over at the pool table, where the Doctor was being metaphorically thrashed.  Toshiko wielded her cue like a soldier with a weapon, and every shot was mathematically perfect.

It was true geometric love.

"How?" said Martha.  "How do we break the TARDIS, just a little bit?"

Rose examined her fingernails and smiled.

"Did he ever mention," she said, "a little device called a fluid link?"


end