Title: Five Times Romana and Ace Prevented the Time War
Summary: Exactly what it says on the tin.
Rated: PG-13
Disclaimer: Characters and situations and bits of dialogue are from the BBC, except for the bit that's from Big Finish.
Notes: Contains bits and pieces from assorted episodes from throughout the series, plus a self-explanatory nod to "The Apocalypse Element".






1. "Have I the right?"


"Just touch these two strands together," said the Doctor, "and the Daleks are finished. Have I that right?"

Sarah opened her mouth to speak, but at that moment, two figures appeared out of thin air. They were running towards her and the Doctor. One of them -- a young woman -- came to an abrupt stop in front of the Doctor, snatched the two wires out of his hands and touched them together.

The explosion rocked the bunker. Everyone ducked.

When all was still again, the other woman -- a small blonde wearing the most outlandish and impractical robes Sarah had ever seen -- and she'd seen a few -- pushed her hair out of her face and said to the Doctor, rather sharply, "You can take that as a yes."

The two women turned and went back the way they'd come, and as they vanished, the first one was turning to the blonde saying, "Could have been a bigger bang. Hardly satisfying."

Sarah turned to the Doctor, hoping for an explanation, or even a witticism.

But for once, he was speechless.


2. "Now that we have a little time to ourselves..."


"That wouldn't keep out a determined mouse," said Romana of the Doctor's admittedly shambolic attempt at building a barricade.

"Well it's got to serve," he snapped with a nervous look at Davros, who had apparently dozed off in his chair. "Now listen--"

He broke off at the sound of a distant thud, as if someone had materialised while running and slammed against a wall.

"Not again," he muttered.

"I told you," said Romana, as two women crashed through the barricade. One, a human, was limping and swearing; the other -- the Doctor looked at her, looked again and swallowed a laugh -- caught the silver tubes her companion was throwing at her and stuffed them into Davros's chair.

Then they ducked. The Doctor and Romana followed.

By the time the smoke and dust had cleared, the interlopers were gone.

"Oh dear," said Romana, looking at the remnants of Davros. "The Daleks are going to be very unhappy."

"Good," said the Doctor. "Never trust a happy Dalek." Having delivered this spurious piece of advice, he risked a sidelong glance at Romana. "Did you, uh, see the first one's face?"

"I did not," said Romana. From her tone, he assumed she meant the exact opposite.

"That was a nice colour on you," he continued. She snorted. "I found the presidential robes a bit itchy myself."

"Doctor," said Romana slowly, "for the sake of my sanity, if not the preservation of the timeline -- please stop talking."

So he did, but he still chuckled to himself when he thought she was paying attention.


3. Life wins.


Returning to the presidential apartment after a long, tedious day of wrangling Time Lords, the last thing Romana wanted was a temporal paradox on her hands.

Nevertheless, here she was, holding a letter -- a physical letter on actual paper -- that purported to be ... well.

Dear Romana,
Don't go to the conference on Etra Prime. The canapes will be stale, the Monan delegate will ply you with cheap champagne and try to grope you in an elevator, and then you'll be captured and enslaved by Daleks. Just stay home.
Yours,
Romana
PS. In twenty years, the Daleks are going to invade Gallifrey. Try to do something about , will you?

Well, thought Romana, putting the letter down and preparing to compose a suitable The President of Gallifrey regrets... message, at least she wouldn't have to pack.


4. "...unlimited rice pudding."


"The Daleks shall become Lords of Time! We shall become all--"

"--powerful! Crush the lesser races! Conquer the galaxy! Unimaginable power! Unlimited rice pudding! Et cetera! Et cetera!"

"He is rather good," said Romana, watching the exchange on her viewscreen with interest.

"I guess so," said Ace with a studied attempt at a casual tone. "If you like that sort of thing..."

They continued to watch as Skaro was consumed by its sun. Romana leaned forward and paused the display.

"There," she said, pointing at a spot of light.

"I see it," said Ace, moving to the console. "It's the red button, right?"

"Yes," said Romana sharply. "If you don't think you can do it--"

Ace finished aiming and said, "Temporal torpedos. Pretty straightforward. Aim, set and," she hit the red button, "fire."

Two minutes earlier, Davros's escape pod exploded in a satisfying ball of light and radiation.

"Wicked," said Ace.


5. Time Lord science


"The Doctor will open the Ark," said Dalek Sek. He sounded, Rose thought, like a stroppy kid.

"The Doctor will not."

Yeah, and there was the playground hero. Or maybe the babysitter, or possibly the bigger bully, Rose wasn't sure. Between Daleks and Cybermen, metaphors were a bit beyond her at that moment.

"You have no way of resisting," said Sek. Now comes the sonic screwdriver, Rose thought.

"Well ... you got me there. But there is always this."

Right on the money.

"A sonic probe?"

Rose was no longer in the habit of feeling sorry for Daleks, but they were all about to face a horrible death by screwdriver, and they didn't even notice it.

"I think you'll find," said a new voice, "that it's a screwdriver."

Rose looked up in surprise at the two women who had just -- appeared. The smaller, blonder one gave the Doctor a sunny smile. The dark-haired one, who looked only a few years older than Rose -- but far more dangerous -- raised a weapon.

"You'd best step aside, Professor," she said. "Could get messy. Nice suit, by the way."

Then she pulled the trigger, and Rose instinctively ducked as a wave of heat engulfed the room.

When it had passed, and everyone was back on their feet and reassured that there were no missing limbs, the Doctor turned to the darker woman and said, "Did I ever tell you how much I appreciate your timing?"

"A few times. Nice to hear it again, though."

The blonde cleared her throat.

"And you!" The Doctor bounded over and engulfed her in a hug. "I thought you were dead, or possibly wiped out of history, except for my memories, obviously, but you can hardly go around the galaxy saying, 'Oh yes, I was here a few years back, you remember that alien invasion I stopped? And there was a girl with me, you remember her existence, right?' Well, I could, but then I'd end up in one of those asylum asteroids, and trust me, one visit was enough." He let her go and turned to Rose. "This is Romana, we used to travel together before she left to free a galaxy and go into politics. And that's Ace, we travelled a few bodies later. She's a pyrotechnics aficionado."

"I blow stuff up," Ace clarified. "Mostly Daleks, these days."

"There are some Cybermen outside the door, too," the Doctor said helpfully.

"That'll make a nice change."

"I'll come too," said Mickey, possibly because he had noticed the way Romana was currently regarding the Doctor the way a high priestess might regard a particularly unsatisfying human sacrifice. (This had happened just a week and a half ago, and Rose had strongly hoped she wouldn't be seeing that look again for a long time.)

Suddenly, Rose thought, hunting Cybermen sounded like quite a nice way to spend a rainy afternoon.

The second they were gone, Romana rounded on the Doctor and said, "You!"

"...Me?"

"You!" Romana took an angry step forward, kicked a bit of Dalek wreckage aside and said, "do you know how long I've been trying to prevent or otherwise stop the Time War? Because I lost track somewhere around the seventeenth failure."

"I did wonder why you were messing about so much in my timeline."

"Frankly, I only kept going because Ace seemed to be having fun."

"Humans are cute when they're happy. Rose does this little thing--" He demonstrated a little bounce.

"Oi!" called Rose.

"Also," said Romana, who had ignored them both, "I really wanted to do this--"

Her slap echoed in the huge room. The Doctor reeled back, slipped on a remnant of the Genesis Ark, regained his balance and said, "What was that for?"

"What was it for? Here I am, trying to do something about a war that undermined the structure of the universe and, if you've forgotten, wiped out our entire species, and what are you doing? Daytripping around the galaxy with your usual cavalcade of semi-sentient bipeds."

"Hey!" Rose said.

"...You have Ace," the Doctor said belatedly.

"I like Ace. She's sensible and well-armed. Wouldn't catch her accidentally destroying reality."

"How long have you two been following me, anyway?"

"Long enough," Romana said. She cleared some debris off a chair and sank into it. "And after all that, it hasn't even worked. I need a drink."

"I know a nice place in the twenty-second century. They do things to vodka that makes it glad it's fermented."

"That sounds nice," said Rose, but they weren't listening.

"We'll bring Ace," he added, "and you can rant some more about the unfairness of a universe that doesn't want to contain Gallifrey. Then we'll go dancing."

"Fine," said Romana, "but don't forget that I'm still furious with you."

"Never."

"And we'll take my TARDIS. From what I've seen, yours is barely vortex-worthy."

"Fair enough."

"I'll just tell Mum I'm off, then," said Rose, but they had already left the room, and there was no answer. "Doctor?" she called. "Um, Doctor?"

There was a distant, unmistakable sound of a TARDIS dematerialising.

Rose kicked a bit of Dalek plunger aside, pulled her phone out of her pocket and scrolled through her address book. "Hello, Sarah? Rose here..."



end